Tuesday, May 12, 2009

...across the room for glue......

I was blessed to be in my daughter's church this past Sunday and thoroughly enjoyed the sermon on marriage.  Two points that caught my attention were:  1.  the concept of two becoming one.  I know that has taken place in my own marriage but it is rather difficult to explain.  This pastor had two small pieces of paper that were sticky on one side.  He stuck them together and then tried to peel them apart.  His illustration didn't work because he couldn't get hold of an edge to start tearing them apart so we just had to believe that when you do try to get two sticky papers like that apart there will not be a clean break.  Each piece will have some of the other stuck on it. I thought it illustrated so well what happens when a couple go their separate ways.  There is no way either can go on with life as though they had never been together.  They take with them some of what they had when they were one.  Rejection, bitterness, disappointment, hurt and pain are glued to each person wherever they go.  I thought it also illustrated very well what happens when two become one and stay glued together.  It better be good quality glue.  Glue comprised of commitment for life no matter what happens all around you and to you is the stuff that binds two people to one another and nothing and no one can get hold of any edge to try to start peeling one from the other.  2.  The second point that made me sit up and take note was when he talked about leaving your parents to join another person and start a new life together.  Of course this included the usual leaving your parents physically where the person and their spouse get their own place to live and support themselves financially.  But as I was driving home I thought about people who did not have a great home to grow up in.  A home where they may have suffered all sorts of physical, mental and emotional abuse at the hand of one or both parents.  I was thinking that unless a person growing up in a home like that could LEAVE that behind as well,  their home could very likely be a repeat of what they had experienced.  I'm sure no one would desire to create an abusive environment to raise their family but so often they end up creating exactly what they determined not to do.  Abuse isn't only what one does, it can also be what one doesn't do. Neglecting the needs of the children God has entrusted to your care is just one example. Children need more than food, clothes and shelter.  They need the very best that we can give them emotionally, mentally and physically and they need to know they are safe with us in all those areas. 
I like one of Dr. Phil's sayings.......there comes a day when any wrong can be made right!  I really believe that to be true.  Healing is possible for everyone.  If your parents mistreated or neglected you there is healing available for the asking.  What a waste it would be to live life as a prisoner of the mistakes of a parent.   Leave the abuse behind by getting the help needed to live a passionate productive and good life.
Sometimes I don't really know why I write the things I write but it just seems to be the thing to do today so I hope it helps someone out there in "blog land"!    


Anonymous said...

Well said my friend!

I want to add something that struck me several years ago. In Genesis 2:24 God instructs: "Therefore a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife .......". No mention of what a wife is to do. Those of us with sons and daughters clearly see this happening. The daughter doesn't "leave" her parents in the same fashion a son does. I don't believe that tie is as fully broken when daughters "leave" their childhood home. How important for us parents of daughters to NOT take advantage of this!! We must always encourage our daughters to "cleave" to their husbands and send them gently back, over and over. And in the same fashion, us parents of sons must be understanding and not get offended when our sons naturally "follow" their wives back to her parents' home.

And of course this leads us, as parents of married children, to be especially wise and discerning with our precious "in-law" children!

God sure made men and women different! It's truly a miracle for a man and a woman to "become one" and yes, Elayne, pretty much impossible to explain.

Sorry this comment got so long, but I too hope this may help someone reading your blog!


Jobina said...

Well said Mom...and Renita. That's really insightful that men and women leave and cleave differently. I've found that but I never thought about why that is or even consciously figured it out. I just knew that my husband and I looked at it differently. Ah, now it all makes sense!