...across the room to talk about legacy's....

This morning I read a short article by Ron and Gilbert Beers on leaving your legacy. I thought about the wonderful people in my life who are spending Christmas in heaven and how they affected my life ... past, present and future. This article made me think about the legacy that I want to leave. They quote the book of Psalms in the Bible where it says this: "But as for me, I will sing about your power. I will shout with joy each morning because of your unfailing love. For you have been my refuge, a place of safety in the day of distress. O My Strength, to you I sing praises, for you, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love." To me there is just nothing more important to pass along to my family than God's mercy, His unfailing love, and that refuge and place of safety He has been in my life. I want my family to see God as the One who created them and therefore knows them better than they know themselves; loves them more than they could ever love and to see Him as a Father like no other. The article stated: " Many people think of God as being angry and judgmental, pointing his disapproving finger at our sins and failures. In reality, God is both holy and merciful. In his holiness, he calls us to moral and virtuous living; in his mercy he is willing to forgive us, and he loves us even when we fail. The psalmist is rejoicing that he can rely upon God's mercy, which becomes a protection against the destructive forces of evil." I think it is important to think about the kind of legacy we want to pass on to our children, their children, etc. Depending on how we were raised, we might pass along all the disappointments, hurts, frustrations, attitudes and pain of our own up bringing or we can break the destructive cycles of our pasts and give our children a legacy that will help them be whole and equipped human beings. I saw a lot of little children at the front of the church participating in a Christmas production this morning. They were so cute, uninhibited, adorable and talented. I couldn't help but wonder who their mommies and daddies were and what kind of legacy they are preparing to leave their children. Every day, every decision, every reaction, every word and gesture will comprise the legacy that we leave for our family. It's worth a little contemplation, I think.

....across the room to say THANK YOU....

CHRISTMAS! What a celebration! Everybody wants to be in on the festivities and many who don't even believe in the real reason for this celebration get completely absorbed in the giving and receiving of this special season. Personally I am amazed at the way the people of our city get involved to make sure everyone has a special Christmas by donating food and gifts to be distributed by various organizations.

Most of my gifts have been sent by now and I have been the recipient of a few gifts myself by now. That brings me to the reason for this post. Some months ago we sent a wedding gift because we had not been able to attend the wedding. It was a gift of money. A month or so later I realized we had not heard from these people by way of a telephone call or a thank you note. Since we had just received a call from a charitable organization we had donated to six months ago to inform us they received the cheque just that day I began to wonder if our gift had been received by this couple. I contacted them to find out that they did not receive it. A few days later a very tired looking envelope ended up in our mail box. It looked like someone had used it as a coaster for their coffee cup! In fact it looked so bad I had to buy a new card to send the gift again. That is one reason we need to send thank you notes but not the main reason. I don't know how many gifts I have sent by now and never received a thank you of any kind. I'm left to wonder whether the gift was ever received and I can't help but wonder if it was even appreciated. The gift I received yesterday was a good reminder of how much time a friend will invest in finding something really special, wrapping it in pretty paper and sending it to my house. A gift of money is someone saying "I want to give you something you would really like, so here is some money so that you can choose it for yourself". Whether it is a gift of money or a gift chosen by someone I think it deserves to be acknowledged. There is no substitute for a hand written note (everyone loves mail!) but a telephone call is a great way of thanking your family and friends as well!

May you enjoy the gift of giving and receiving and let's all remember to say "THANKS"!

...across the room for my family...

As I was tidying up my kitchen this morning I wondered what I should take off the counters before Christmas to make room for all the extras that always end up on the counter during family gatherings. Then the thought hit me that "this Christmas there will be no baby bottles, formula, soothers, or the DREADED SIPPY CUPS cluttering up my kitchen counter! Our grandchildren have all been there, done that, and they are all GROWN UP! This will all change again for next Christmas (and I can't wait to have a baby around again) but for this year things will be different. I think I feel the same way about my grandchildren as I did about my children. I loved the wee baby stage. They are so adorable and make complete idiots of the adults (remember cooing at the babies to make them coo back, cheering when they poop and laughing at their garbled baby talk?). Then there's the stage when they'll sit alone in the middle of the floor and never go anywhere! There is so much freedom in the very brief stage before they crawl all over the place and end up under the couch fast asleep like one of ours did! The walking and talking stage is always a real highlight even though they wear out the adults as they walk where they shouldn't and talk endlessly, asking questions and making comments about everything in sight. Our grandbabies are ages 3, 5, 7, and 9 so there are lots of conversations on every level and lots of surprise observations from inquisitive little minds! If I had to choose one particular stage of development I just couldn't do it. I love them all. I cannot wait for my house to be filled with noises from these special little ones in my life and I can't wait for the adults to try to get in some semblance of real conversation above all the "noise"!

I'm counting the days!

...across the room into the REAL world.....

As we were raising our daughters my husband and I agreed on some very important common sense approaches to cleanliness and nutrition for ourselves and our children. One was to limit the use of antibiotics if at all possible. Sometimes I felt judged by other people because their kids were taken to the clinic or even worse the local emergency department at the first sign of a sniffle or cough and mine had to suffer through it! Did you know that even if a child feels sick Monday or Tuesday and is looked after at home, by Friday everybody has just had it and they head to walk-in or the emergency department for their instant anti-biotic fix! Nobody is allowed to ruin the family's weekend by being sick! REALLY! You may quote me:) At our house hands had to be washed after bathroom use and before and after a meal. Fresh fruits and/or veggies were served at most meals (we had to have something crunchy to eat at most meals). Don't think for a moment that this was what really happened at our house every day. We were not the perfect family. I'm just saying this was our desire for ourselves and something we wanted to instill in our daughters. That's just a little introduction into what I really wanted to post today which is an excerpt from a book I'm reading. I totally agree with the following written by Danna Demetre in "Change your habits, change your life":

Experts are reporting that many allergies and immune-system diseases have doubled, tripled or even quadrupled in the last thirty to forty years. Some studies confirm that more than half of the U.S. population has at least one allergy. Many researchers suspect the increase may be due to changes in modern living to include the "hygiene hypothesis," which blames growing up in increasingly sterile homes as the problem. Others have pointed to changes in diet, air pollution, and even the rise in obesity and sedentary lifestyles.

Interestingly, the rise in allergies and immune-system diseases are only showing up in highly developed countries in Europe and North America. The illnesses have steadily increased in other countries as they have become more advanced.

This is what health expert Dr. Joseph Mercola says about this issue:

As society in general becomes more "sterile" it is causing real problems for your immune system, which is becoming increasingly unable to differentiate between real threats and harmless things like pollen and dust-bunnies.

Think about it: how many people do you know who carry a bottle of antibacterial hand sanitizer with them wherever they go? Meanwhile, you're exposed to antibiotics, in your food and by prescription, while most of the food supply is pasteurized or otherwise treated to remove both good and bad bacteria.

And this is the key: while everyone was busy killing all of those "germs" they didn't stop to think about what this would mean for the future generation. Children are now growing up without being exposed to the bacteria, viruses, and parasites that have existed throughout the world - even in developed countries like the U.S. - since the beginning of time.

To some extent, this is a good thing. but to children's immune systems, which are not being exposed to bacteria and viruses like they were in the past, it results in an excessive immune response against a routine thing, like a peanut, resulting in allergies and auto-immune diseases.

While "clean living" is certainly a good thing, we must be wise and not take this to an extreme. We also need to stop pressuring our doctors to write prescriptions for antibiotics every time we have a sniffle or a cough. They should not be giving in to these requests, but unfortunately sometimes they do, which results in increasingly resistant strains of bacteria and a much bigger problem for all of us. Don't feel you have to avoid every germ on the planet. Let your kids play in the dirt. Yes, we do need to wash our hands after using the restroom and when in contact with sick people. but that old "ten second" rule for food dropped on the floor not being contaminated is a good one to keep. Our bodies get strengthened by small doses of bacteria. Let's not be afraid to live in the "real" world and leave our hand santizer behind on occasion.

I am no authority on marriage and I speak only from experience and a firm belief that every relationship be it a marriage, friendship, family, etc. can survive anything. One of my great desires in life is to see people work through differences and difficulty to keep their relationship in tact and be strengthened as a person. As I thought about this today here are some thoughts I thought before I ran out of time!!

......my thoughts on marriage......

~great marriages are not made in heaven, but on earth, with time, respect for ones self and each other, understanding, honest communication, mental, emotional and physical support for one another.

~they don't just happen. They have to be cultivated.

~they are worth the effort it sometimes takes to get through the tough times

~can be great fun!

~marriages are forever!

~requires energy

~is not for sissy's

~are designed by God for our benefit!

~have to be based on mutual trust

~can sometimes be exhausting!

~is a gift two people give each other

~marriages are never perfect so don't expect it to be

"By WISDOM a house is built, and through UNDERSTANDING it is established, through knowledge it's rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures". Prov. 24: 3,4

...across the room to encourage you.....

I was reading a book this week and in it was the account of Jesus telling Peter that he would betray Him. Peter who loved Jesus very much was shocked that Jesus would say this to him and of course denied that he would ever do such a thing. We would too, wouldn't we? We are no different from Peter. When all is well with us, things are going great, we're up on the mountain with Jesus we can't imagine our relationship with Him any different, any less, only more.

The author pointed out that Jesus knows our weaknesses. We think we are strong in our faith and yet we fail again and again to love God the way He deserves to be loved and honored. She talks about how Jesus appeared to His disciples after the resurrection and made breakfast for them by the lake. They had all fallen away from Him when the going got rough and this is how He responded to them! Breakfast at the lake!

After breakfast He asks Peter "do you love me more than these?" three times and each time Peter responds with a positive "Yes! I love you!" Of course Jesus already knew that Peter loved Him but Peter needed to be reminded that despite his betrayal, his love for Jesus was real and secure.

The author encourages her readers "...don't let the shame of bad behaviour or a lapse in your faith keep you from intimate time with Christ and being used for His glory. Do you love Him? Do you love Him? Do you love Him?"

Such a great reminder that God never gives up on us, isn't it? HE LOVES YOU! HE LOVES YOU! HE LOVES YOU! So if you need to.....pick up where you left Him, fix your eyes on Him, and get going! :)

...across the room for a year without Jean.....

One year ago today....my life changed forever as my sister breathed her final breath and joined her son Del and our Mom in glory.

I will never forget that day and the week to follow as we looked after the details of our final good-byes to Jean. What I didn't realize then was that it was not my final good-bye at all. This past year has been filled with constantly having to say good-bye over and over again. I think that is what one has to do to come to terms with a loss. It takes time to let a loved one go and this process WILL not be rushed. This year has been long and without a doubt the most painful and difficult year I have had in all my life.

The text book cycle of grieving got all murky in my life it seemed. The shock and emotional release which most people experience more immediately hit me after I returned home. I put my life on hold to be with my sister most of the last six weeks of her life and I have no regrets about investing that time in her family to support them and to be with Jean even though she may not have known most of the time that I was with her. So I can't say that I have any guilt feelings of regret about needing to do more than I did. What I did find was that even though I thought I had progressed in the cycle of the stages of grief they seemed to need to be revisited and they would even merge and overlap to the point of almost immobilizing me at times. The pain of it all was worse than any physical pain I have ever had to endure.

As the year rolls to an end I am definitely experiencing less of it and am enjoying the memories and pictures without having to cry every time.

What I did for myself this year is try to surround myself with people who did not pretend to know it all. Nor did they try to cheer me up when I was sad, offer cliches or pat answers. Only two people told me they knew exactly how I felt and I immediately forgave them for saying it. Friends simply sat with me, didn't mind being around me in my state, asked me to talk about Jean, and were just simply themselves even though I was not. What a gift they have been to me! And where was God in all of this? Right with me! Holding me and whispering comfort, caring for me and loving me through it. He never left me alone.....never got impatient or angry with me. He just let me walk through at my own pace. To be in His presence has been my refuge, my rest, and my great joy!

I can't say that I ever thought that God was going to heal Jean physically. Her healing had been granted in her spirit the last year of her life. She experienced tremendous spiritual healing and understanding of who God is and she believed He was Sovereign and all-sufficient and had experienced Him as such. She trusted Him with her life. So I felt that He was taking her home to be with Him and spoke with her in that fashion, giving her my blessing to go to be with Jesus and promising her that I would be there for her family as much as they needed me to be and that is what I have been doing this year. I love each one of them as my own and would do anything for them.

Jean, I will always remember you as someone with whom I could share matters of the heart, knowing you would not only understand but have personal experiences very similar and often exactly the same and I miss that so much. I will remember you as the one I could call on to pray for me when I felt I really needed someone on my side and I miss that especially these last two days. I can clearly hear your fabulous hearty laugh as I write this and think about you and it seems like it will be forever until I will hear that again but then I know I can hear it forever! I will mostly remember you for your unwavering love and trust in our most amazing Savior and Lord of our lives, Jesus Christ. I miss you Jean!