...across the room to protest....

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."   Rita Rudner

I went for a walk in one of our parks recently and just as I was about to start walking a lady drove up in a very fancy sporty car and parked right beside mine.  When I go for my morning walk I don't wear any make-up, simply run my fingers through my hair, and dress in some sort of comfortable work out clothes and shoes.  You can imagine my surprise when this women got out of her car dressed in three inch heels, tight skirt, hair and make-up perfectly arranged and applied to spend some time in the park exercising her dog!  Each to his/her own though, right?  I couldn't help but take a closer look at her and realized that I knew this person but had not seen her for probably ten years or more.  At her age I would expect to see some changes after ten years but not the kind I saw that day.  I'm sure her lips are twice the size they were at one time and honestly I don't think her face moved at all when she smiled at me other than her lips looked even bigger!!

"We are in this awful youth-driven thing where everybody needs to look 30 at 60, but I'm not fiddling about with myself." British actress Emma Thompson

 

Later that day I was amazed again as I did some business with a young lady who had obviously been distressed by her bra size and now had two extremely firm, unmovable breasts spilling out of her top and pointing directly at me!  I noticed them before I saw her face.  She probably spent all her money on her breasts and had nothing left over for her lips so she just simply decided to enlarge the circumference with a $7.95 lip pencil.  A brown lip pencil.  It was all I could do to control my impulse to take the used tissue in my purse and start rubbing it off! Honestly!  Could it be that she looked in the mirror after applying that dark circle under her nose and say "THAT'S perfect, and just the way I like me to look today!"  How can it be?!

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." Jerry Seinfeld

I like to experiment with make-up and hair like most women but I feel sad that men and especially women take such drastic measures to change their appearances.  Who are we listening to and why?  Who is to say that my lips are too small, my nose too big, my breasts too small?  And do I have to redecorate my house every year because this year the colours are orange, purple and putty and last years monochromatic greys are old and tired looking?  Who says everybody should wear the same hair style; the same heel height; the same skirt length?When do we just simply say "This is what I like" and be happy and confident with our own preferences and ability to choose what is suitable for us.

After all that, I think just for today I shall leave my face completely NAKED in honour of Elayne's Day of Protest!! 

...across the room to share a song....

I dropped the grandkids off at their home today and on my way home I was thinking about a conversation I had with my eight year old grandson today.  We had to deal with an "issue" and he needed some time to think about it so he went to "his room" until lunch was ready.  Their's was ready before mine so they thanked Jesus for their food so they could start eating.  When I sat down to eat I guess I prayed a bit long so they wanted to know what I was doing?  I explained I had been praying to which my grandson added "That's what I was doing in my room before".  I asked what he had been praying about and he said "I asked God to help me get out of this mess!"

As I was thinking about this moment I was also praying for him and some other people on my mind.   I find that my car is the best place for me to pray.  No interruptions and I can feel free to express myself in whatever way I want because I really don't pay attention to whether or not other drivers are looking.  They can just think I'm crazy if they want :)   As I was thinking and praying suddenly one particular song in my CD player seemed to play louder than any of the other songs to that point.  It didn't take long and I had tears streaming down my face.  I know, it's not cool to cry and drive ... but hey, when the Spirit moves you just follow His lead!!  I'll try to remember some of the words:

He's ever interceding to the Father for His children.

Yes, He's ever interceding to the Father for His own.

Through Him you can reach the Father,

so bring Him all your heavy burdens.

Yes,  for you He's interceding,

so come boldly to the throne!

Just like sheep we've gone astray

Struggling 'neath the debt we could not pay.

Not ever hoping to renew

the love and fellowship that we once knew.

But He began to intercede -

crying Father please forgive, I plead

And as the nails pierced through His hand

God once again reached out to man.

And He's ever interceding

to the Father for His children.

Yes He's ever interceding to the Father for His own.

Through Him you can reach the Father

so bring Him all your heavy burdens.

Yes for you He's interceding

so come boldly to the throne!

So many times I find I'm almost speechless (hard to believe, I know!) when I am praying.   I was trying to visualize what Jesus  speaking to God on my behalf might look and sound like.  All I can say is I was a mess by the time that song was over!  What a great GOOD MESS!

...across the room to fall?

What a day!  Was I always sweating like this when I was a young Mommy or is it just the Nana's that work so hard at looking after these little charges?  I could have used 13 showers today but there was no time for that!  We had things to do and places to visit.

The day started off with a trip to the lake (missed church this morning....sorry Mommy & Daddy) for lunch and a walk-about.  Sadly the little princess fell and wrecked up her knees after which she walked around with her skirt bunched up at her waist exposing her diaper and tummy for all the world to see because nothing and no one could touch those poor knees after that.

By the time we got home she was feeling so incredibly sorry for herself she pretty well put herself down for a nap and slept 2 1/2 hours!

Meanwhile my little guy made friends with "Poppy" the neighbour and as you can see the infatuation is reciprocated!  They have a date for 10:30 AM tomorrow for their second walk.

It took some convincing but they finally agreed to be taken to a different playground than the usual one and ended up loving it.  After begging some cheese for both of them off a family trying to have a private little picnic I scooped up the little princess and took them both home for our very own sausage and pasta picnic.  

We've all had lots of fresh air, plenty of activity, giggles and laughter, and oodles of talks and we are so ready for a good night's sleep.  One of my favourite "talks" tonight was hearing the princess say "This is the best days ever!" and my little man asking how many arms I thought God might have.  Could it be a million?"

Tomorrow they go back home and right now I can't even imagine coming home to an empty house so I won't go there just yet!  

....across the room for crocs, shades and Royalty....

The Royals have graced our home once again and that usually means the writer suffers from "bleary, dry and burning eyes" for a few days.  By dinner time tonight I wondered if I had ever felt this tired before.  Nothing has changed except for the fact that they're a little older this time.  It just means they' ve got more energy than last time and a lot more than I've ever had!

Requests for breakfast this morning were made last night and included "bacon, eggs and toast, although I won't have any toast"!  I made the toast too.  The itinerary today was written in stone before I had a chance to review it.  "I need a pweasent" meant a trip to the mall for new crocs.  It was easier than anticipated what with the little princess doing all her own negotiating....."Man, can I have Dowa Cwocs?"  and "Man, I need to see dis one!"  and a little later, "Man, I need some shades!"  They entertained the staff enough to leave the store with big fat sugar laden donuts.  One each!  UGG!  Getting the shades required a trek down the mall past the store that sells the dreaded scooters!  Lucky for the little man they were half price and this Nana could not resist!  He's such a natural....just hopped on and started doing stunt-ery type stuff much to this Nana's chagrin!!

McD's is a given for lunch and after that came a special request for the "Pet Store".  Ever tried dragging a three year old away from "fish-ees"?  Let's just say EVERYBODY in the store heard and saw us leave!

Nap time is our, er, my favourite part of the afternoon.  The princess was in dire need of it and it's always a special time for the little man to have some one-on-one Nana time.  We washed the front door, window, one side window which apparently was "extremely dirty" and then we played.  It was mentioned during this playtime that some chocolate chip muffins would be really good to eat out of doors on a sunny day like today!  In twenty-five minutes we munched on chocolate chip muffins INSIDE!  It was illustrated to me how much better they are when dunked in milk!  This Nana is still not convinced.

Next on the aforementioned agenda was a trip to the park they never get tired of going to.  As usual they met new friends and the little princess ended up running after a grown up man pushing him and saying "I'M the king!"  Apparently he was not welcome on the play structure she wanted to play on.  I noticed he just couldn't stay away and enjoyed the "game" as much as she did.  Meanwhile his own three little guys were playing on a different structure with his girlfriend!!  

Dinner was to be at our house and the request was for Nana's soup and hot dogs but without the bun.  The soup was creamed and hid some of the nasty veggies that some people I know would turn their noses up at.  Mushrooms, green beans, celery, onions (YES, onions!) and potato were enthusiastically slurped up!

Dinner was followed by baths and then to end the night a hilarious movie complete with popcorn!  Where do they leave all that food!!

And so once again, my usual orderly house has that decidedly lived in look and I for one would rather see a coffee table laden with little plastic dishes and toys than a fancy candle holder any day!  Sweet dream, little ones!  Tomorrow is another HEAVY day!!

...across the room to walk.....

SHOES!  Have you tried buying a good pair of shoes lately?  I have wasted so much money on shoes in my life time it's downright shameful!  Been there, done that, when it comes to high heels and pointy toes and trying to fool people into believing "they're so COMFORTABLE I could shop in them all day"!  Let's face it.  Forcing your feet into a shoe shaped anything other than your foot is not comfortable and I have been the queen of uncomfortable shoes for many years.  I remember a few years ago being given a beautiful pair of black, pink and white heels by a friend who was moving away.  They looked great on my feet and with one particular outfit I had.  I was speaking to a group of women one day and decided to wear those very high heels with my special outfit.  Before I got up to speak they had a podiatrist do a presentation.  As soon as they introduced him as a podiatrist I felt uncomfortable and just automatically tucked my feet under my chair.  Fortunately he had to leave the group as soon as he was done.  I teetered up the steps to the podium in my very high heels and told my audience "I NEVER wear shoes like this and I can't believe that today of ALL DAYS I would have to choose these horrible shoes to wear!".... followed by "But are they not perfect for this outfit?" to which I received a standing ovation!!

So now I'm at the point in my life where comfort has become more important that style.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm all over fashion and style but just not at the expense of my feet anymore.   That is not to say I will never wear those stupid pointy shoes just because they look better with my outfit but hopefully I will do it less than I used to.  

I've been searching for a good walking shoe for a long time and since recently I noticed that my shins were hurting all the time I was forced to get out there and make a decision.  It's astounding to me that shoes in the $150 - $175 price range still have very little cushioning for the feet.  I tried several pair and found nothing satisfying.  Then I spotted some rather ugly shoes in a separate area in the store.  My attention was drawn to the shape of the soles.  They didn't look like they'ld be easy to walk in but when I tried them on I felt like I was walking on a trampoline.  I wanted to jump.  I actually DID jump a little....something the sales clerk found rather amusing!  They were pricey but I couldn't justify spending $175 on the best pair I had found before I spotted the STRETCH WALKER by Xsensible.  They claim it's probably the most comfortable walking shoe on the planet.  I hope so because at $230 a pop (and I usually buy a new pair of walking shoes every year) they better keep my feet happy for a long time!

If my camera battery was charged I would show a picture of my black and silver Stretch Walkers but you'll just have to take my word for it that they were the cutest of all the ugly shoes in that grouping!

...across the room for glue......

I was blessed to be in my daughter's church this past Sunday and thoroughly enjoyed the sermon on marriage.  Two points that caught my attention were:  1.  the concept of two becoming one.  I know that has taken place in my own marriage but it is rather difficult to explain.  This pastor had two small pieces of paper that were sticky on one side.  He stuck them together and then tried to peel them apart.  His illustration didn't work because he couldn't get hold of an edge to start tearing them apart so we just had to believe that when you do try to get two sticky papers like that apart there will not be a clean break.  Each piece will have some of the other stuck on it. I thought it illustrated so well what happens when a couple go their separate ways.  There is no way either can go on with life as though they had never been together.  They take with them some of what they had when they were one.  Rejection, bitterness, disappointment, hurt and pain are glued to each person wherever they go.  I thought it also illustrated very well what happens when two become one and stay glued together.  It better be good quality glue.  Glue comprised of commitment for life no matter what happens all around you and to you is the stuff that binds two people to one another and nothing and no one can get hold of any edge to try to start peeling one from the other.  2.  The second point that made me sit up and take note was when he talked about leaving your parents to join another person and start a new life together.  Of course this included the usual leaving your parents physically where the person and their spouse get their own place to live and support themselves financially.  But as I was driving home I thought about people who did not have a great home to grow up in.  A home where they may have suffered all sorts of physical, mental and emotional abuse at the hand of one or both parents.  I was thinking that unless a person growing up in a home like that could LEAVE that behind as well,  their home could very likely be a repeat of what they had experienced.  I'm sure no one would desire to create an abusive environment to raise their family but so often they end up creating exactly what they determined not to do.  Abuse isn't only what one does, it can also be what one doesn't do. Neglecting the needs of the children God has entrusted to your care is just one example. Children need more than food, clothes and shelter.  They need the very best that we can give them emotionally, mentally and physically and they need to know they are safe with us in all those areas. 

I like one of Dr. Phil's sayings.......there comes a day when any wrong can be made right!  I really believe that to be true.  Healing is possible for everyone.  If your parents mistreated or neglected you there is healing available for the asking.  What a waste it would be to live life as a prisoner of the mistakes of a parent.   Leave the abuse behind by getting the help needed to live a passionate productive and good life.

Sometimes I don't really know why I write the things I write but it just seems to be the thing to do today so I hope it helps someone out there in "blog land"!    

...across the room to remember my Mom....

I write in green in memory of my Mom whose favourite colour was green. 

Often when I'm in my kitchen baking or cooking I think of my Mom.  As you can see, I have the word family standing big and tall inside one of the boxes above my cabinets.  It too reminds me of my Mom and how our family invariably seemed to gather in the kitchen where all that delectable food was simmering, baking, roasting or cooking.  Mom would have loved my kitchen with all the granite counter space, easy access refrigerator and all the built-in appliances.  I wish she could have seen the house we are now living in because I just know she would have loved it.

I always enjoyed cooking or baking for her as well because she so thoroughly enjoyed seeing her family learning and mastering those culinary skills.  I have to say we're all pretty good in the kitchen because of her influence.  She would be so thrilled to see how her grandchildren excel in the kitchen as well.

I'm probably missing my Mom more than ever this year.  I miss choosing a card and sending it and I miss ordering just the right bouquet of flowers for her.  Lately I've been remembering all the lunches we had together....just the two of us.  Conversation was always meaningful and most times one of us would come close to losing the coffee in our mouth because the other would make a timely comment that struck our funny bone!  I miss shopping with her for a new bottle of perfume, something we were equally crazy about.  We would sample and then run for a good whiff of the jar of coffee beans so we could continue.  She was so much fun!  I miss driving around in the city looking at houses and talking about the pros and cons of each house. Most times we would agree we would rather not live in really big houses because we would have no time for our outings together...we would be too busy cleaning!  Mom and I shared a love of country music as well as gospel.  When I went through my teen phase listening to the Beatles she would mimic them to show me how bad they sounded!  You should have heard and seen her move to "I love you yeah, yeah, yeah" and "We all live in a yellow submarine"!  She was hilarious!  (although back then I wasn't happy about her desiccating my music!). 

Mom knew how to make work fun.  I remember her gathering up dirty laundry and by the time she was on her way down the hallway to the laundry room she had "dressed" herself with towels to emulate a bride and the bouquet was among other items Dad's dirty socks!  She came bustling down the hallway humming "Here comes the bride"!  I loved her sense of humour!

I spent hours with my Mom at the kitchen table talking.  This is where I learned all about her growing up years, school experience, relationships, and how to be a good friend.  At Mom's kitchen table I learned how to be selective in life and about how every choice I made would affect my future.  She had the most gentle teaching manner of anyone I know.  It was easy to trust her and believe she knew what she was talking about.  Here she confessed some of her own mistakes although never in great detail.  She was an over comer and did not waste time dwelling on what could have, might have, or would have been "if only"!   She was positive, strong, gracious, graceful, generous with her time and her means, empathetic and completely loyal.  My friends loved, admired, and liked to be around her.  To this day there is still a huge space in my heart that belonged to her and occasionally I have to revisit that site so that it can settle down again and stop aching.  

I don't know if there is Mother's Day in heaven but if there is, I just know that my sister Jean who has recently joined our Mom up there will be blessed beyond words to celebrate together with her this year.  Happy Mother's Day Mom!  I love you!

....across the room to talk about coffee....

Coffee.  My heart always skips a beat when a friend calls to invite me for coffee.  It means I can drop what I'm doing and enjoy the company of someone I like to be with.  It's a communal drink according to Leonard Sweet, author of "The Gospel According to Starbucks". The discovery of coffee apparently was  what saved many from the grip that alcohol had on them during the Dark Ages when it was unsafe to drink water and this included women and children.  An English Puritan wrote the following poem in 1674:

When the sweet Poison of the Treacherous Grape

Had acted on the world a general rape;

Drowning our Reason and our souls

In such deep seas of large o'erflowing bowls....

When foggy Ale, leavying up mighty trains,

Of muddy vapours, had besieg'd our Brains,

Then Heaven in Pity....

First sent amongst us this All-healing Berry....

Coffee arrives, that grave and wholesome Liquor,

That heals the stomach, makes the genius quicker,

Relieves the memory, revives the sad,

And cheers the Spirits, without making mad.

I had no idea coffee houses date back to around 1650!  They spread throughout Europe and were considered "information exchanges'...a place for movers and shakers to discuss what they were reading.  Each coffee house had a brand name that advertised whether it was for writers, philosophers, businessmen or poets etc!  The more they prospered the more conversation became an art.  Apparently the eighteenth century became known as "The age of conversation".  Sweet says that if you started a quarrel in a coffee house you had to atone for it by buying a round for everyone!  Now I'm not sure how accurate this book is but I sure enjoyed all these bits of information.

The book is not entirely about coffee though.  It's written to illustrate how the Christian life is meant to be experienced and fully participated in with God.  He says that when our life is a life of passion for God, it takes on the taste and feel of God and invites others to experience Him too.

PS...the coffee picture is from 2002 in New Mexico...

...across the room to be a friend....

Do you ever wonder how in the world some people end up on your “door step” when you would never pick them out of a crowd? Certain people come into our lives it seems in such a way that we have no choice but to walk along side them.  These can be some of our most frustrating relationships and yet it seems we were meant to be connected somehow.  There’s a saying that we can’t choose our family but we can choose our friends.  I say sometimes we can’t even choose our friends.

The friend I’m talking about today is one of those people who never seems to take ownership of anything in her life.  She seems to think that life happens to her and she’s along for the ride.  She has no control over it.  Nothing is ever her fault.  Things just happen and she has no choice but to endure life.  LIFE does things to her!  If I didn’t know better I’ld think “LIFE” was a monster!  Some people think of marriage that way.  Marriage is the monster that didn’t make it.  This entity that they had no control over.  Instead of saying “one of us (or both of us) were too stubborn to make any concessions so we decided to go our own way” they choose to believe that this entity did them both in.  I personally do not believe that alcoholism is a disease.  I believe it is an addiction.  However, people find it easier to admit they have a disease than an addiction.  It is socially more acceptable.  I can’t help it if I have a disease.  I can however, choose not to succumb to my addiction.  I think it boils down to taking ownership.

Then there are the excuses and self pity!  Excuses for everything that happens to her.  She grovels in self pity and bases all her decisions on her feelings.  Every sentence seems to start with “I feel like!”   Some people never seem to deal with reality.  That which they know for sure.  I always think that in order to re-group yourself and get on the right track you have to start with what you know for sure and go on from there.  We need a starting point.  

Did I mention the lies?!  This person does not seem to be able to figure out anything on her own because she never tells the whole truth.  There is always lots of guessing on my part.  So when I call a spade a spade she thinks I’m being too harsh.  Finally, when she knows I know she is not being honest with me she starts attacking me with “I don’t think you understand what I mean” or that she didn’t mean exactly what she said.  

OK I think you get it.  I am frustrated with her and have suggested a counsellor and no, it would not be me!  I think some people should only speak with counsellors who will tell them the truth, not simply what makes them feel good.  I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would bother confiding in someone and not tell the truth!  Can you?  Some days I feel so used by her and yet there is this part of me that believes there is hope for her and that if I give up on her she might too and I just can’t do that to her.

  

...across the room to guess what it is.....

I'm hot.  Now I'm cold.  I'm unorganized.  I'm sad.  No, wait, I can't stop laughing.  I'm crying.   I'm angry.  Why was I angry?  Sleep comes quickly and then leaves me stranded with my insomnia. My body needs very little nourishment.  My brain wants mounds of comfort food.  Some days the body wins.  Most times the brain is over powering.  No caffeine?  I'll compromise.  Half and half. Even Starbucks "gets it".  What about the little glass of wine for my hearts sake?  Just one!  I feel like I'm two again.  The operative word in my life is "NO".  No carbs; no caffeine; no stress; no wine; no comforter, sweaters, warm jackets or socks.  No hot spice; no memory;  and no big meals.  No. No! NO!

If you can guess what it is you can have it!!