Friday, May 8, 2009

...across the room to remember my Mom....

I write in green in memory of my Mom whose favourite colour was green. 

Often when I'm in my kitchen baking or cooking I think of my Mom.  As you can see, I have the word family standing big and tall inside one of the boxes above my cabinets.  It too reminds me of my Mom and how our family invariably seemed to gather in the kitchen where all that delectable food was simmering, baking, roasting or cooking.  Mom would have loved my kitchen with all the granite counter space, easy access refrigerator and all the built-in appliances.  I wish she could have seen the house we are now living in because I just know she would have loved it.

I always enjoyed cooking or baking for her as well because she so thoroughly enjoyed seeing her family learning and mastering those culinary skills.  I have to say we're all pretty good in the kitchen because of her influence.  She would be so thrilled to see how her grandchildren excel in the kitchen as well.

I'm probably missing my Mom more than ever this year.  I miss choosing a card and sending it and I miss ordering just the right bouquet of flowers for her.  Lately I've been remembering all the lunches we had together....just the two of us.  Conversation was always meaningful and most times one of us would come close to losing the coffee in our mouth because the other would make a timely comment that struck our funny bone!  I miss shopping with her for a new bottle of perfume, something we were equally crazy about.  We would sample and then run for a good whiff of the jar of coffee beans so we could continue.  She was so much fun!  I miss driving around in the city looking at houses and talking about the pros and cons of each house. Most times we would agree we would rather not live in really big houses because we would have no time for our outings together...we would be too busy cleaning!  Mom and I shared a love of country music as well as gospel.  When I went through my teen phase listening to the Beatles she would mimic them to show me how bad they sounded!  You should have heard and seen her move to "I love you yeah, yeah, yeah" and "We all live in a yellow submarine"!  She was hilarious!  (although back then I wasn't happy about her desiccating my music!). 
Mom knew how to make work fun.  I remember her gathering up dirty laundry and by the time she was on her way down the hallway to the laundry room she had "dressed" herself with towels to emulate a bride and the bouquet was among other items Dad's dirty socks!  She came bustling down the hallway humming "Here comes the bride"!  I loved her sense of humour!
I spent hours with my Mom at the kitchen table talking.  This is where I learned all about her growing up years, school experience, relationships, and how to be a good friend.  At Mom's kitchen table I learned how to be selective in life and about how every choice I made would affect my future.  She had the most gentle teaching manner of anyone I know.  It was easy to trust her and believe she knew what she was talking about.  Here she confessed some of her own mistakes although never in great detail.  She was an over comer and did not waste time dwelling on what could have, might have, or would have been "if only"!   She was positive, strong, gracious, graceful, generous with her time and her means, empathetic and completely loyal.  My friends loved, admired, and liked to be around her.  To this day there is still a huge space in my heart that belonged to her and occasionally I have to revisit that site so that it can settle down again and stop aching.  
I don't know if there is Mother's Day in heaven but if there is, I just know that my sister Jean who has recently joined our Mom up there will be blessed beyond words to celebrate together with her this year.  Happy Mother's Day Mom!  I love you!


Jobina said...

That was beautiful Mom, I have tears running down my cheeks!
A few weeks ago I took Trinity to a birthday party for one of her little friends in Steinbach. I was a little early to pick her up after at the bowling alley so I decided to go to A&W and have a snack while I waited. It was only after I stepped inside that I realized that the last time I had been in that building was with Grandma 17 years ago. I was as fresh in my mind as ever. I got my snack and walked to the tables and I just couldn't help it, I sat in the same spot that I sat with her all those years ago. As I ate I recalled our conversation, I can almost remember it verbatim. She helped turn something around in my life that day and when I went home I made a change. Sitting in that A&W I felt so close to her and yet so far away all at the same time. It was beautiful and heartbreaking
but the tears that came were good. You had a great Mom! And I had a great Grandma!
Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Anonymous said...

It IS a beautiful article (Elayne AND Jobina)!! I have tears running as well. Tears of regret and tears of envy and tears of sympathy for the loss you still feel today. Thank you for sharing!

Elayne said...

What a great story Jobina. It was nice to hear it again! She told me she had talked to you because you seemed to need the encouragement to make a change. She had a great sense of intuition.
Renita, you have been such a blessing to me and your dependable friendship has been a great source of strength and encouragement in my life. I love that your eyes (tears) are like a window into your heart! Your kids are SO LUCKY to have YOU for a mother!!

Michele said...

How long has it been since we lost her? It still feels like yesterday and my heart is breaking as I read your post. I miss her so much!!! You have so many of her qualities and I am so blessed to have you as my Mom! Thank you for spending Mother's Day with me and giving me space to talk...I needed that more than I helped me work out a few things in my own head. I love you madly, lady!!!

Elayne said...

Everybody needs a little "woman to woman" every now and then. Yesterday was your day! You have lots of Grandma Eva's qualities and YOU are as much of an OVER COMER as she was! She would be very proud of all you have accomplished and she would be so proud of those adorable great-grandbabies you've contributed to her "brood" :)