So today I read about another teenage "coming out" and a mother who praised him for his bravery.
"Zach, I was surprised by your Facebook post where you came out. I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. I love you with my actions, not just my words. I'm so proud of you. You are the bravest person I know. I'll fight for you always. Your sexual orientation does not define you. You are still the boy who forever won my heart. The only thing that concerns me is the number of empty soda cups and tea bottles in your room. Throw them away before ants come inside. I love you always, Mom."
What I find disturbing is that we never get to hear of any discussion between parents and their children mentioned in these coming out stories. It would be so good to hear parents talk to their sons about the fact that males can have what society would refer to as feminine tendencies, preferences and interests and how they can be embraced rather than ignored or hidden without it becoming an issue of sex. How refreshing it would be to hear dialogue between parent and child regarding moral values and conduct and becoming people of integrity and good character. Heart to heart talks between parents and their daughters addressing past relationships, disappointments and failures and the fact that they were not to blame for past hurts and that concentrating on healing and becoming whole is more important than giving up or making a rash decision based on past failures. That just because relationships with males in the past did not work out does not mean they have to be gay. Are parents really too afraid, or lazy, or ignorant to have these discussions with their teenagers? Mostly what I've heard parents say is that they knew their child was gay at an early age because they preferred activities or toys generally favoured by the opposite sex. REALLY?!
My heart bleeds for these young people who are so confused and hurting who are getting no input or help to find out why they feel the way they do. Perhaps they are being bullied into thinking they are gay? Could it be? The bullying out there is not just from the heterosexual community. I've seen it myself and it is very real from the homosexual community as well. Isn't it worth the effort to walk alongside your teenager and do the hard work of digging into their childhood to see if there is something that needs to be addressed?
It's time for parents to get educated and not take the easy way out when their children come up with these ideas.
I absolutely do not agree that people are born homosexual. I believe it is a choice people make because of what is happening in their minds. They believe lies. When we want something badly enough we will always be able to find an excuse to defend our actions. Just because we have tendancies uncharacteristic of our gender does not define us as homosexuals. We can embrace those tendancies, enjoy them, and not turn them into an excuse for a perverted sexual preference.
NOTE: This may be a work in progress...today I was just so sickened I needed a place to talk and this is my place.
