..across the room to deal with bad days.....

the flowers I gave myself today :)

I often hear people talk about having bad days and it always makes me wonder why they don't do something about these bad days so that the entire day doesn't have to be labeled that way.  Then along came today!

Due to an upcoming medical procedure it was necessary for me to go on a liquid diet for the past two days.  Juice is not something I care for at the best of times.  A piece of fruit is so much more enticing to me than liquid that tastes like fruit.  However, there seemed to be a limit as to what I could and could not drink and juice was on the menu for me!  It didn't work though and my tummy rebelled against it as well as the chicken broth I wanted to drink.  Long story short, I ended up having mostly water, coffee and tea for two days.  Needless to say, by this morning I felt a little weak, hungry and just a tad grumpy.    Things did not go well for me in the kitchen as I prepared my husband's bag lunch and I ended up having to wipe down some cabinets, fridge and floor.  I had errands to run as well as a visit to my hair stylist and my deadline was noon.  Since I was tired of making my own coffee I went out of my way to pick up an Americano at Starbucks and realizing I was ahead of schedule decided I would get to the salon early and perhaps page through a few magazines to help me explain what I wanted done with my hair.  I realized the door was locked when I almost broke my nails trying to yank it open with my cell phone in one hand and coffee in the other.  I yanked again (just to make sure!) knocked  on and looked through the window where I saw a group of stylists sitting around chatting.  Immediately my temper got the best of me and when they finally opened the door twenty minutes later I was about to bite someone's head off!  However my stylist is young enough to be my daughter and besides, I like her and she apologized, explaining they were having a staff meeting.  I still felt a little grumpy though and when she indicated which station she wanted me at I told her I would like to use the rest room first (I DID after all drink almost an entire Americano! and besides, maybe she wanted to know what it feels like to wait!).  I guess I was still seeing red because I walked right past the rest room towards the back of the salon so she had to call me back and point me to the right door.   I nearly had a heart attack when I opened the door to see someone occupying the room and I wondered what would go wrong next.

On my way home I had one more stop to make at the local supermarket.  First things first though because by now I was ready for another Starbucks break.  This time I ordered a blend I hadn't tried before and when she handed it to me and said "I hope you like it" I answered "I hope so too!"....not a reply I would normally make.  But what was normal about this day?!  I collected what I needed and proceeded to the EXPRESS checkout.  Delightfully there was NOBODY ahead of me but of course by the time I wanted to pay there was quite a line up.  I used my debit card, or tried to, and the machine would not accept it.  We tried again, and AGAIN and finally she said "It wants you to go through the motions and then it will reject it!"  

"That's ridiculous" I thought to myself.  How does SHE know what the machine wants from me?  Eventually I timidly proceeded while she rolled her eyes at me!  TEMPER!  "What business does SHE have rolling her eyes at ME when this is all the machine's fault?"  I could not believe my eyes.  I'm sure had I been able to make eye contact with the person behind me in the line up my mouth would have wanted to sarcastically tell him "and they call THIS the EXPRESS lane!"  Leaving the check out counter I slowly made my way to the exit all the while trying to decide how I should handle this rude clerk.  Go back and give her a piece of my mind?  Talk to a supervisor?  I decided to let it be and secretly hoped the next person would straighten her out but good!!

As I drove home I realized how this interruption in my diet had affected my mood, actions and tolerance level and I decided that I would start over again.  I found a bright orange vase, stuck some pretty flowers and baby's breath into it and allowed it to be my reminder for the rest of my day at home.  A reminder that even when I don't feel completely wonderful I can choose how I act and react.  This day was also a reminder to myself how important it is to be good to myself by eating properly, exercising, and getting enough sleep.  It's so simple really but maybe often we create our own bad days? 

...across the room to meet Alexis!

It was March 5, 2008 and if you care to check my older posts you will find an entry for this day. Apparently I needed to learn how to accept a blessing from perfect strangers! I was so used to being the "bless-er" I hardly knew what to do with the gift I was being offered.

In summery, a group of young people crowded me in the super market parking lot, so close I couldn't open my car door. They were waving a $5.00 bill at me they wanted me to have. I did not need the money and wanted them to give it to someone in need but they had other ideas and, long story short, I accepted the money from them.

Realizing how this random act of kindness affected me, I carefully folded the money tucking it into my wallet so it would be visible every time I opened it. Often I looked for just the right opportunity to pay this gift forward but never seemed to find just the right person or the right time. That is, until today!

We were traveling home today from visiting family for a few days. Our trip started off on shaky ground with snow and ice covered roads and blowing snow reducing visibility considerably. After the first two hours of a rather quiet ride I realized that my husband who was driving was not feeling very well. We stopped for fuel and I took the wheel even though I had a sore scratchy eye that was not responding at all to my really amazing new eye drops!! Four hours later I stopped at Tim Horton's for a sandwhich and coffee. As I was ordering my food and coffee a young woman interrupted and said "I would really like to pay for your food today. Please let me." Naturally I started with the protests to which she replied "I'm really quite stubborn and I just want to do this for you. Please allow me to buy your food today." Finally I agreed, asked her if I could give her a hug of thanks, hugged her and moved to pick up my coffee and wait for my sandwich. Instead of leaving she followed me, asking how my day was going! A few sentences later I discovered she was a student at a Bible College near by. Now I felt bad about allowing her to pay but at the same time I realized she wouldn't have offered if she was spending her last penny. After she left to join her friend at their table my husband told me an older man wanted to buy coffee for him, but since he wasn't feeling well he wasn't having any coffee! Sheesh! What a day this was turning into. I had already won a free coffee in the morning after rolling up the rim!! We were being blessed all over the place!

That's when this little voice said "Give her the $5.00!" and I just knew the time was right. I decided to risk offending my new friend and marched over to her table where I realized she was telling her friend about our initial meeting a few minutes prior. I explained the $5.00 bill in my wallet and asked her to do with it whatever she felt was right. She could spend it on herself or bless someone else with it and that it was simply my joy to know this was the right time and she was the person God had chosen for me to hand it to. It was just that simple. She could not say no and she realized that this was orchestrated by God Himself and neither of us had any idea at that moment how this money is going to be used in the future! It was an exciting moment for both of us and even though I will probably never know how this little $5 bill will affect the next person's life I know that when my new friend Alexis pays it forward it will be another perfect moment in time, directed by the God who brought us together today!

...across the room to change some habits....

I have recently had to make some changes in my life. Believe me, I knew for quite some time now that I needed to make these changes but until recently I just never thought I needed to become fanatical about it and therefore did not take the matter seriously. That is, until one day I developed some physical symptoms that stopped me in my tracks. I monitored myself carefully for the next week or so but the symptoms persisted. In fact, they were troubling enough to call my doctor one day to request a session with her "to talk". I suppose I sounded desperate enough to get my appointment that same day.

Together we decided on a plan of action and from that day on I have made some changes in my life. These changes were made immediately with little room to "mess up" or I'm right back where I started.

It got me thinking about habits. Habits are hard to break, there's no doubt about that. I even searched the internet to see what materials were available and was rather surprised at all the help out there. It doesn't seem to matter what we struggle with, someone will have come up with a formula for whatever plagues us. I remember years ago reading books on prayer. How to pray more effectively. Thinking back I wonder if the message was not more to the tune of "how to pray so you can get what you want". At least so it seems to me. I finally got so frustrated with all the books on prayer I just sat down on a chair one day and talked to God. How refreshing! I've never looked back! I just simply enjoy my conversations with God in a natural way, in the same English language I speak to everyone else! It's so easy!

Today I feel the same way about these new changes I'm making. Habits of sorts. It's easy to change a habit when you know that if you slide back into the old routine something not very nice is going to happen to you! And it will happen immediately. It's so different from knowing that if you constantly over eat you may very well develop diabetes later in life, or some other illness that will make your quality of life difficult some day. It's easy to ignore all the warnings because they don't affect us immediately. I have often tried to break a habit or make some kind of change and have failed many, many times. Yet, this time, there was an urgency about making the change so that I would feel better, stay out of danger, and be able to continue doing all the things I wanted to do. It was a no brainer; I made the changes and it has been easy.

I hope this is a good lesson for me to make some other changes, break some other habits that could affect me down the road and just simply do it for my own good!

...across the room to scream Part 2....

Well, since my last post I have spoken with a few dear souls who were brave enough to share how they changed their immediate responses! Apparently it is possible and after thinking about it some more I realized that I have also changed some of my initial responses out of necessity!

One of those (not that I've completely arrived yet, but I'm feeling very positive that I soon will have this one conquered) is the habit of sucking in my breath when my husband is at the wheel. Although he has patiently explained for years now that he has no idea what sucking in my breath means when he's at the wheel (most of the time he thinks one of us is about to die) I simply cannot find words for the moment so I suck in my breath! Usually it means I think he is going to wreck my vehicle in some way! Last weekend, instead of sucking in my breath, I cautioned him in what I classified as a definite yet quite audible whisper, "No, NO, NO!" as I cowered beneath the dash of the car when I saw a vehicle rapidly approach our back end as we were leaving our parking spot. Again, it was my immediate response. For me it felt like a healthy change from the immobilizing breath sucking!

Another immediate response of mine (I don't know why I feel I have to tell all my secrets suddenly...ON my blog yet!) is to stand in front of the waste basket cabinet door whenever my husband walks into the room to throw something into the waste basket. It's not that I even know he needs to open that door or wants to throw something away, it's just where I stand when he walks into the kitchen! I do it every time. I can't seem to help myself. The door is under the sink. Why would I stand in front of the oven or refrigerator when he walks into the kitchen. Seems kind of silly. I stand in front of the sink. I'm feeling very strongly that I need to change my position though and will have to come up with a solution. Soon!

And finally, my husband says that when he needs to get my attention all he has to do is go to the bathroom. He claims that as soon as he walks in there, I'm right behind him. It's not like we don't have any other bathrooms in the house. I walk into which ever bathroom he is in! Go figure! It just seems that whenever he walks in there I have something I need to say to him! Before I forget, or before he disappears somewhere in the house that's inconvenient for me!

In retrospect, it's really all about learning to live together, wouldn't you say?

...across the room to scream....

Yes, this is one of those nasty self portraits and yes I know it looks like I'm sticking out my tongue at something but actually it's supposed to look like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs! Why, you ask? I thought you'ld never ask! Because screaming, apparently, is my first reaction to shock! This is not news to me but for some reason my husband seemed surprised by an outburst such as this to something rather trivial to his way of thinking. We were out of town and stopped at a Starbucks before returning home. On our way out of the parking lot we v-e-r-y slowly inched our way over an exaggerated speed bump which caused our car to bottom out. The second I heard the crashing noise my mouth opened and I heard screaming. Extremely LOUD screaming! Then I realized it was my mouth that was screaming. I didn't WANT to scream. I just did! After the noise died down and my husband stopped sticking his finger in his ear to deaden the noise the conversation progressed somewhat like this:

"Why did you scream?"

"I don't know, it just happened!"

"It was just a speed bump. Why would you scream about that?"

"I'm a girl!"

"I can't believe that at your age you would still scream like a scared child." (or something to that effect)

"It was my first reaction. I couldn't help it. Can you control all your first reactions?" (it never crossed my mind at the time but I should have asked him if he could from this day forward control his habit of screaming without any warning whenever he sneezes! I only thought of that right this very minute! That would have been the perfect retort!)

That's when the laughing set in. I'm not sure who started it but we could hardly stop ourselves. Suddenly it just seemed like the craziest conversation in the world and the craziest reaction at my age, apparently!

It got me thinking though. I am in the middle of a 40 day journey to change some of my habits and I wonder whether it is possible to change an immediate reaction. Is it possible to change something that just hits you so suddenly that you don't even have time to think about it before you do it? I would definitely rather not scream when something happens unexpectedly but I also realize that it is my first reaction. This summer I was cleaning my patio doors when a bird flew at me at about waist height. What did I do? I screamed! I have screamed when my husband walked into the kitchen when I didn't expect him and I remember a dream about a burgler in our house who was about to hit me when my alarm sounded. You're right! I screamed! I could write a book about screaming. He is right though. At my age, it's getting a tad embarrassing when I'm out walking with my friends and a cyclist rings his bell to let us know he is approaching and I scream! How can I get myself not to do that, I wonder? Any similar experiences out there? Ideas? Help! I'm a screamer and I can't stop!!

...across the room to model the new 'do'......

This is the result of dragging myself kicking and screaming to the hair stylist yesterday. One of my pet peeves about getting my hair washed is that most times they shampoo the make up off my face as well. Yesterday before they started with the fire hose I asked them for something to cover my face so as not to disturb my make up! They complied with a paper napkin which was referred to by a much fancier word I had never heard before. I really didn't care what they called it but I did care that it kept wanting to fall off my face. Each time this happened I made a jerking motion to get to it before it slid off. It gave me a break from her hard nails scraping my scalp and a heads up for her to watch where she pointed that hose! I guess they realized my hair was retracting into my scalp out of fear of being cut because they decided that even though I wasn't having conditioner put in my hair they didn't want me to "miss out on the scalp massage!" The massage was nice except for the times that she tried to slide her fingers through some tangles! That's when all that nicely relaxed scalp tightened right back up where it had originally been! However, the massage must have worked because I didn't experience the same constant gushing of sweat off my head onto my face like the last time she cut my hair (she was wondering why my hair wasn't getting dry last time!) The hot flashes happened as I was sitting in the waiting room for my turn under the sizzer. In fact I have to say I was fairly well relaxed in her chair yesterday.

I made sure I let her know that the reason I didn't want my make up washed off was because I had some shopping to do when I left the salon. She seemed to understand that but as usual, I did my shopping and when I got home to redo my hair (is there anyone out there who doesn't have to go home to redo the "do"?) I realized I had pieces of hair beside my nose and inside my ear! Even so, I do think I'll go back and let her get to know my hair but mostly I want to see if she'll remember to cover my face next time!

...across the room to Barnes & Noble.....

What happens to a person when you leave the comforts of home along with your scheduled busy life and hit the road on motorbike for three weeks for an unstructured, mostly unplanned getaway?! That's what we experienced this summer. We had some ideas about where we would like to go but we are always mindful of the weather systems and how it somewhat dictates our direction when we leave home. Who wants to head into a wild weather system on motorbike or any other vehicle for that matter?!

Since we both ride our own bike we spend a lot of our days with our own thoughts. How interesting?! It wouldn't be much of a good time for someone who doesn't like to think their own thoughts. We all know people who do not like silence so they establish ways of being distracted from their thoughts as much as possible. I am not one of those people. It would drive me crazy. I need periods of silence every day.

I usually take books with me and did so this summer as well but for some reason I just couldn't get into them. My husband read one of my books as well as what he brought with him and I just simply never felt like reading. One day as we were browsing in a book store after dinner I picked up a very nice looking boxed book with a leather like cover and I do admit it was the look of it that first caught my eye. I was actually looking for a gift for someone but as I paged through the book I realized it was exactly what I had been looking for since January! I know. A little late in the year especially since this was to be a book I wanted to read in every day this year! LOL! God works in mysterious ways, let's not forget! I love when I feel like I'm on to something really good and this was one of those times. This book was for me for right now! I couldn't wait to get to our hotel room to start reading.

"My Utmost For His Highest" daily devotional journal by Oswald Chambers is the book I bought. The readings start January 1st but of course that's not where I started! I started the day I bought the book! So what's the big deal? So far EVERY DAY has been a reading about the things I was thinking about, struggling with, praying for, searching out during this time on our bike trip! My heart is about ready to leap out of my body with sheer excitement and thankfulness of how this all came about. Was I ready to read this stuff in January? Probably not. However, God knew what I needed now and so He guided my steps to the restaurant, close to the book store which was close to our hotel and made sure I got what I needed! Ironically one of the first readings in the book was something I did not agree with but instead of being discouraged about it or the rest of the book I marked that page with my own thoughts which further cemented what I believe the Bible to say about that topic. I think it was a matter of Chambers trying to say something but not actually speaking the words on a matter that to me was very important to be clear about.

We can take a break from our lives and surroundings but as Christ followers we take God with us wherever we go and He is just never silent. Not even when I'm on my bike! He can get my attention above the roar of the engine and speak absolute peace into my soul! We have an AWESOME God!

....across the room to end this....

If this looks really good to you I would suggest a drive through Creston, BC to enjoy these bottomless cups of coffee and the biggest cinnamon roll we had ever seen. The topping had a decidedly syrup-ee taste to it. Different and yummy. I'm sure it's not necessary to mention here that this giant roll generated a number of comments from passers by as we smacked our lips and licked our fingers, not to mention enticing a few new customers into the bakery as well!

The best part about this coffee break was the sunshine, warmth, friendly strangers, and most of all the relaxing pace of the day....that is to say, we are in slow mode.

Our ride today brought us into Fernie with no room at our favourite hotel. We were about to leave when the hotel clerk came running out to let us know he called a place on the ski hill that had all kinds of rooms available. We made our way up to a great place with a big balcony, leather sofas, and a bed so tall we almost need a ladder to get into it! The bonus? There's nobody up here! We haven't heard this much quiet since we left home three weeks ago! What a perfect ending to the best holiday ever! Tomorrow, we're homeward bound and I can't wait to get into my kitchen to bake something. Cinnamon rolls, perhaps?

...across the room to make some notes...

The day started off with a nerve-wracking ride across a 7 km. bridge laden with various and sundry road kill.

We kept turning in the wrong direction although in the end it turned out to be the right direction. I was having one of those days where left felt right again.

I wanted to stay in the town where we had lunch because the food was just that good.

We stopped to buy a set of head phones for the GPS and a guy came to talk to us. He asked where we were from and then told us that he came down from heaven in 1972 but he only told special people about that and we were special people.

Our GPS kept telling us to go right so we went around the block.

We finally found a beautiful Hampton Inn, Starbucks and Olive Garden all in the same town.

We stayed!

It was a very good day!

...across the room to remember a little song.....

We arrived in Oregon today and made our way up the coastal highway taking in scenes such as this along the way. I don't know when I've ever enjoyed the ocean as much as I have on this trip. The wind, cooler temps, annoying motor homes, truck/trailer combos etc. didn't even get to me! We found interesting places to stop and little sea side restaurants and coffee shops to unwind and talk about the scenery and the ride.

As I looked across the water as far as the eye can see I was reminded of a song I learned when I was a kid...."Wide, wide as the ocean, high as the heavens above; deep, deep as the deepest sea, is my Saviour's love. I, though so unworthy, still am a child of His care; for His Word teaches me, that His love reaches me EVERYWHERE!"

I couldn't believe I remembered all the words to this little song. Actually I remembered them better than I used to sing them. When I was a kid, not thinking about the words, just enjoying the melody, I used to sing "I, no so unworthy!" I also used to sing "True patrot love, in all our signs command" during the singing of "O Canada"! I could go on! I was always more interested in the melody than the words! Today however, the words spoke to me. That water is looks so enormous, sounds so strong, and seems to be everywhere at the same time. I sang this little song and basked in the assurance of God's great love for me no matter where I am. As another song says "He's as close as the mention of His name". It was a sweet moment in the middle of my day to be reminded of God's love through a song I learned as a kid.

Parents, I hope you don't think that taking your children to church and sunday school every sunday is a chore or not important. The scripture they learn there through memorization or songs or in stories will speak to them throughout their lives. It will get them out of tough situations, help them make the right choices and draw them to God. Throughout my life God has used what I learned as a child in sunday school and church in my life to teach, help and encourage me. Make the sacrifice, take the time, and remember, children learn by example. While I was in church or sunday school my parents were there as well. You'll never be sorry for putting in the effort to be a spiritual leader and example to your children.

...across the room to Silver City.....""

I love doors and doorways and like to take pictures of them when I see one that especially interests me as this one did. The picture didn't turn out well but I still remember the feeling of standing here, looking at this doorway and wondering what the history of this place was. I hope it was a haven, shelter, refuge and safe place to walk into.

As I got on my bike to resume our ride for the day I remember thinking about all the doorways I've walked through in my life. There have been many. So many were great experiences and opportunities to learn and grow.

Some of the doors I walked through were painful experiences and as I thought about those I was asking God to clarify some things for me that I do not understand. I asked Him to speak specifically to me in order for me to be in that place with Him where there is nothing standing between me and God that would block our communication and fellowship. I knew that I was dealing with some things in my life that are not pleasing to Him and I wanted to be forgiven and made clean in those areas.

He brought to my mind a passage from the book of Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight."

I have to admit that I simply do not understand everything in my life and sometimes I have to just let things be and trust and believe that God will direct the outcome of the parts I do not understand in the way that it needs to happen. My part is to acknowledge Him in everything that I do and say. That's the tough part.

For instance today we stopped at a place to fuel up our bikes and I ran in to use the washroom. I looked around and saw no washroom facility signs so I asked the clerk where they were. She said "Oh, it's broken!" My eyebrows automatically rose to my hairline and my lips mouthed "Don't you ever have to go?" "Oh," she replied "I have a washroom through the back office where you can't go!" I said "PLEASE! You've GOT to be kidding!" as she pointed to a restaurant across the street and said "But you can use their washroom!" I wanted to scream "I HAVE JUST PURCHASED FUEL FROM YOU. You won't let me use the washroom but you would like me to go to the restaurant across the street where I do not want to eat because I just had lunch and use their washroom! Do you not even feel the slightest twinge of shame suggesting something like that?" etc. but I heard that little voice inside me saying "In ALL your ways, acknowledge HIM" and I had to ask myself how that applied in this situation. I don't know what their policy was. I don't know if the toilet was broken. She probably just works there and is not the owner. I have no idea and it doesn't change anything. I had a choice to make and I chose to walk out without making a scene and I'm glad I did.

The Word of God is sharper than a two edged sword and it cuts right through everything. Just when we think we're a special case or start making excuses for ourselves that Word cuts our excuses into bits and exposes them for what they really are. So often we want to make an exception for ourselves for what we would consider wrong for everyone else. But if we actually acknowledge God in everything we do and say He really will make our path straight.

At the end of the day, that's what really counts!

The picture was taken in Silver City.

...across the room for cabin number seven.....

This morning I did something I've never done before. I dropped one of my grandchildren off at camp. I couldn't believe how hard it was to leave him in this cabin, walk to my car and start my 4 1/2 hour drive back home!

He seemed a tad nervous so I decided to make it a two day outing. I picked him up at home for the drive to the big city to find a nice hotel where we could spend the evening and night. He chose the hotel (with my approval) and seemed quite pleased with his choice. The food was "the best" "awesome" and "very tasty" and his queen bed was "the best bed ever"! While I checked into the hotel he made conversation with the desk clerk who seemed quite taken with him. After checking our room I escorted him to the hotel restaurant which included a slight detour to the hotel gift store which he decided was an "antique store". I'm not quite sure why. Before entering the restaurant proper he read the menu posted in the entry and then discussed it with the host. Together they decided he would not leave hungry; the clincher being that ice-cream would be included with his meal! After cleaning our plates it was obvious the pool was beckoning and he had little patience to wait for our check. I had to make it clear we could not leave without paying for our meal and then made the mistake of glancing out the window by which time he had left the table in search of our waitress with said check!

An hour in the pool with two new friends prepared him for a good night's rest. Good enough to sleep until the alarm woke both of us at the same time! This is unusual for this early bird!

I can find my way around the big city but I never get anywhere fast due to the fact that I lose all sense of direction and simply always feel the necessity to turn right. Right always seems right to me! Lucky for me this 9 yr. old is fluent in map and helped me find my way out of the city including a stop at the Golden Arches where he ordered a "sausage and bacon McMuffin" (something they don't have a key for on their till! LOL!) I guess he's the first to order one! It was, of course, the "Best Ever Breakfast!"

We arrived at the camp in record time, thanks to my little navigator! Registration was a breeze and meeting his camp counsellor was a very pleasant surprise. Since this was his first time at camp I had hoped that he would get a great counsellor. Someone he would mesh with. I liked him immediately and I could tell he did too. In fact he walked us to cabin number seven where wonder of wonders the top bunks were not spoken for yet! We got my little man all settled in and introduced to another first time camper. I could see he was settling in for the duration, got my hug, and said my good-byes. After a short walk back towards my car I decided to go back to the cabin and take just one tiny little picture for my little "grandchild picture collection". I couldn't help but smile as I walked in to find him as well as his new buddy sitting on their bunks writing in their notebooks! I got my picture for my collection and left. Again!

On my drive home I kept remembering his cabin with the closed door and I wondered what this experience will be like for him. I also thought how trusting it is of his parents, his Papa and I to leave him with total strangers like this. The family that usually protects him, cares for him and watches over him are hours away from him. Then I thought of the people in charge of the camp and all these little campers! What a tremendous responsibility they take on every year as they welcome these kids into their care. It didn't take long for me to start praying for everyone there. Not just my grandson, but the other campers, and everyone involved in providing this experience for these kids. Some are obviously college students who could be making a lot more money elsewhere. I admire them for basically donating their time during the summer months so that kids can have a place like this to come to. Working at a camp is not something I would enjoy but I can participate by remembering to pray and committing all to God's care! I am also in a position to send kids to camp which is what we did for our grandson this year. What a great way to be involved in this fantastic ministry!

...across the room and out of the box...

All the fall and winter activities seem to come to an end by May 1st and so it is with the Bible Study I attend Wednesday mornings at my church.  Our last study of the semester is always a good PARTY instead of the usual study.  To mix it up a little we were asked to go shopping this week for an outfit costing not more than $25.  I was not looking forward to this (I just REALLY don't like to try on used clothes!) and confess I did not put much effort into it.  I decided to go to Winner's and did actually find a workout outfit for $25.  

I knew when the fashion show started that I would not be modelling my outfit.  The fashion sense of these women was incredible!  Some had purchased outfits complete with earrings, bracelets, purse (leather none the less!) and shoes, CUTE shoes, and DESIGNER clothes!  My clothes looked SO FRUMPY compared to what these women who put some effort into the assignment looked like and I made up my mind right there that if we ever do this again I will get into the spirit of it and have some fun!

I do have a little problem shopping at places like Value Village and Salvation Army Outlets because I feel like I am snitching clothes from people who HAVE to shop in those places because they can't afford to buy new clothes.  I suppose I could just buy them for the event and then donate them back again and that way I could join in the fun without feeling guilty.

I do draw the line at shoes though.  I just really don't want to wear used shoes.  I think about the "creepy little bugs" that might be lurking in the toe part of the shoe ready to pounce on my toes and give me a fungus outbreak!  ACK!  No can do!

Besides, I made a decision this year to not buy anything I don't need and so tomorrow I think I'll just dig into the back of my closet to see what I haven't worn for awhile and maybe I'll feel like I'm wearing something new to go to work in!

At the end of the day it's good for me to have to get outside the box once in awhile and do something different!

...a walk across the room to be blessed....

I know you are all wondering what I did with the money I was "blessed" with last night on the parking lot at the grocery store.  I've had some time to think about it.  What my hubby said about learning to receive is something I gave a lot of thought.  Giving is what I love to do and I must say that I have to purposely stay out of the stores sometimes so that I don't get so carried away.  

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE receiving gifts.  Especially unexpected gifts (other than the usual 'gift days').  These gifts are usually from someone I know though.  Gifts from strangers don't happen often in my life.

By now you are wondering whether I will ever get to the point!  I have made my decision.  I am going to keep the $5.00 and I will spend it on ME!  I will allow myself to be BLESSED by these wonderful strangers.

So in case you had no idea what it feels like to be the recipient of such an unselfish act of kindness, I hope these two posts have given you some idea what it feels like.  Perhaps some time in the next week or two you will find yourself walking across the room to bless a total stranger too!  I know I will be more aware of the people around me to see if I can put a smile on someone's face!

...across the room to receive....

There seems to be an epidemic in our city.  Almost every day it seems that someone gets a free cup of coffee at the drive thru coffee places.  It is the thing to do around here.  You simply pay for the person in the car behind you.  My husband and I were discussing this practice just this week and both agreed that it is a bit of a ridiculous habit.  We felt that this type of thing is more meaningful if you know the person who buys the coffee for you.  They care about you. They know you.

Tonight I reluctantly left the comfort of my warm home to travel down the highway to Costco to get some things I can only find there.  I had two very impatient drivers behind me and another impatient driver as I left and drove to Safeway for the rest of my groceries.  By the time I arrived I was in a bit of "a mood"!  I hadn't had time to open my door when a car zoomed in RIGHT beside me, WAY too close for me to open my door!  I couldn't believe my eyes!  I was just considering whether I should back up and go park somewhere else when out of the corner of my eye I saw an outstretched arm.  I looked to see him waving a $5.00 bill at me. Assuming he needed change I opened my window to hear him say "We would like to give this to you".  My reply was "No, if you want to give money away, why don't you give it to someone who really needs it?"  He was very insistent though so finally I said "OK, you've got to be on one of those Youth Group events so I'll take it so you can take the picture".  I took it and then said "Now please take it back and give it to someone who needs it".  He would not take it and said to me "No, we want to bless YOU with it!  God bless you!"  Realizing he was not going to take the money back I replied "God bless you too!  I know Him as well" and I heard all five in the car exclaim  "AAAAAWWWWW", grinning from ear to ear as they raced away!

As I shopped groceries I realized what a warm fuzzy feeling that "blessing" gave me.  How it changed my mood and even how I looked at other shoppers and store staff to see if anyone needed encouragement.  

I'm going to go find me some stranger to bless before this week is over!  I have a $5.00 bill burning a hole in my pocket!  However, I will not crowd them in the parking lot at Safeway!

...across the room into this great big strange world...

A number of years ago my husband and I decided to 'undo all the ties' that bound us to the life we were living to set us free to re-evaluate our lives to that point.  It was one of the few times in my life when I did something quite absurd to my way of thinking, yet knew it was exactly the right thing to do.  It is the strangest feeling in the world!  It seemed both ludicrous and  right, impossible yet doable.  Our plan to accomplish this was to sell our home, car, and truck, place all of our possessions in storage, get on our motorbikes and just simply leave.  Preparations took approximately one year and yet we had not decided where we would go....not even the first day.  There was no itinerary, no real plan, and that is what we wanted.  This was our life for eleven months.  We never knew where we would be sleeping or eating at the end of each day.  We wanted to be open-minded to make any changes we felt we needed to make.  This included career changes as well.  While most of our friends and family saw this as the adventure of a life time (it was!) we saw it as a year that could change our lives drastically and forever.  Looking back on our journals now, we see that it was a difficult year in many ways.

A complete re-shuffling of priorities took place that year, freeing me up to consider what my focus in life should be.  The most frightening aspect to all this introspection and evaluation was the realization that the areas of my life that I thought were sure and strong were shaky, weak and susceptible to failure.  I felt vulnerable, emotionally sick, empty and very small in our great big strange world.  Thankfully every day was different for us as we kept moving around, zigzagging our way through Canada and the USA.  There was beauty to be admired everywhere we went and somehow spending the majority of a year out of doors produces feelings of strength, vigor and ambition.  

I found that when I got to the 'end of myself', acknowledged the state I was in and the issues that needed attention, the desire to do the hard work I needed to do helped me to look for answers and solutions.

I thought that at the end of our year away I would sit down to write a book because I would have seen so much,  learned so much, changed so much that the story would need to be told.  Not to mention the fact that so many people had told us we would come back completely different people then when we left.  They EXPECTED it!  Strangely enough, it seemed whenever I was asked what I had learned on our year away I had very little to say.  I did not realize at the time how long it would take to process that experience.  It is now going on five years since we took that trip and I am finally putting together the pieces of the puzzle.  This may not be a book, but it is a start.  This blog is to say that I AM a changed woman because of that year away, even though I have never really been able to put it into words before. 

Now that I've written this, I'm thinking there may be a "Segment #2" to follow (maybe, some day)!