Throughout my life there have always been people that I thought were exemplary human beings. What I admire most in people is real wisdom, humour, dangerous faith, honesty, and a passion for something other than themselves. I can't say that I've ever wanted to be someone other than myself although I have wished for certain characteristics and attributes I have detected in other people that I thought I did not have. Fall seems to be the time of year when there is more time for introspection and assessment of the year up to this point, at least in my life this is so. As I have thought about this year there have been times of doubt and yes, disappointment too about the way my life has progressed. So much has changed for me this year and I keep sensing the need to remind myself that as I review all that has transpired I need to look at everything from the perspective of who I am today, rather than who I was last year. Last year seemed to be a year of tremendous growth for me in many ways. This year feels like a flat line year....I envision a heart monitor! Oswald Chambers refers to our daily living as a workshop. Spending time with God in other words. Allowing the roots of faith to sink deeper and deeper and our trust in Him to flourish. That is the only way we will be able to rise to the occasion when we stare into the face of difficult situations. Or LIFE! This year as I've asked Him to search me, and try me as the Scripture says, I feel as though I've been tried. He has asked me to test the growth from last year. Mostly I feel like I passed the test. I'm more convinced than ever before of who I am in God's eyes, how very much He loves me, cares for me and that He has a special plan for me that keeps unfolding day by day. The exciting news about all of this is that I feel that He is on the verge of pulling this all together for me to see what He's been trying to do in my life this year and new direction as well. It feels confusing and exhilarating all at the same time. I am truly beginning to understand what He means when He says that all things work together for good to those that love Him! He uses all the things of life to bring glory to Himself and WE are part of that! My brain is in overdrive today. What I wanted to say today is that we sometimes tend to look up to people in our lives as our examples but, as Oswald Chambers wrote in one of the articles I read this weekend, God did not give us the example of a good man or a good Christian to model ourselves after. He gave us the example of God Himself "Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in heaven is perfect" .... love one another as I have loved you. He says that the expression of Christian character is not good doing but God-likeness. I like that! I believe that! I believe he is shaping, molding, and transforming me as I allow Him to complete the work He has begun in me. He is the one I want to grow to be like. He is the one I desire to have other people see through me. Keep transforming me O God!
(I hope that I can continue this post later this fall or winter to share what God has been doing in my life)
1 comment:
I like your reflections of this season! Just this morning I sat outside in the sun (trying to warm up!) and examined my own heart, particularly in light of my friend in Ontario. I reflected on my thoughts about her. Sometimes I've wished that I was "more spiritual" like her or "a better, deeper pray-er" like her or "more in tune with God" like her or ........
But today I saw her in a different light; I saw her as "so heavenly minded that she is earthly useless". Yet, I didn't mean to think that in a derogatory manner.
I came to realize that she has HER relationship with God and I have MINE! God fashioned both of us right from before the womb, BUT, He fashioned us differently! He created EACH of us (you included!) for a different purpose. I suddenly realized that this beautiful woman of God was created to intercede (by prayer) for the "world" and accordingly she HAS to have a very different connection with God than I do!
I too, now, am happy with who I am. God continues to call me for special assignments and each time the calling is more challenging! I've only recently become NOT scared at the assignments because they've gotten to the point where they are so "out there", it would be ludicrous for me to think I could tackle them on my own. NOTHING about each assignment can be accomplished without HIM. That's a great place to finally get to!!!
You keep mulling, girl! I too can hardly wait to see where YOUR calling is taking you!
Renita
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