Sunday, July 5, 2009

...across the room to make room for grizzly's.....

This blog is supposed to be a place for me to express myself and yet so much of the time I hold back from saying what I really want to say because I'm afraid it might offend someone (yeah, REALLY! ... just in case some of you might think I'm already too outspoken :)  
I have to admit that I am struggling with some issues at the moment that once again, I feel I just am not ready to write about today.  The past few weeks have tested me in many ways and at this point in time I find I have the head knowledge to know what some of the answers are but my heart and my will feel sluggish.  Fear, disbelief, anger, frustration, disappointment, heartache and pain are interspersed with peace, reassurance, calm, joy, and gladness.  This is my reminder that God indwells me by the presence of His Holy Spirit who comforts, reassures, and calms me whenever I get over myself and focus on Him and what it is He would have me to do.  I admit that this past while there have been many moments (OK, well HOURS!...DAYS, even?!) when it just felt better to feed my "self" and wallow some.  That, however, is not a place I'm comfortable in for long any more and I THANK MY GOD for that!  I'm so thankful that He is patient with me and allows me to pace myself on this journey with Him.  I have every confidence that when I have worked through the tough stuff I will look back and be grateful for sloshing through the valley!!  
A little reprieve for me was a five day ride on my Harley as far as Osoyoose, BC where I met up with my guy who had ridden to Vancouver a week earlier.  I spent a night in Fernie where I discovered a fabulous little coffee shop "Cincott Farms Organic Market".  Should you be lucky enough to travel through Fernie at breakfast time you would want to order the spinach and black pepper gouda breakfast croissant.  Trust me that all that butter is well worth the calories just this once!  A definite highlight of our little get away was the sight of a magnificent grizzly bear on a mission to cross the highway in front of us!  I really believe it was those disgustingly obnoxious noisy pipes on our bikes that made him change his mind about completing his mission and it boggles my mind how quickly that huge animal turned back and disappeared into the forest.  It all happened so fast we only had time to brake hard enough to smoke our tires and no time to be afraid!!  It was after the fact that I began to wonder whether one of us would have had to hit him!  I was so mesmerized by how shiny his beautiful brown coat was in the sunshine I didn't even think about fearing that big beast!  He was stunning! 
As we continued our trip I thought about how determined and focused that bear seemed to get somewhere and how quickly he had to change his mind and back track.  Does it remind you of anyone?  Yourself?  Sometimes I'm so sure of the path I'm on and yet it is a path that could lead me into danger or destruction.  God uses all kinds of ways to get me to back track and change my direction.  Most often He uses the instructions in the Bible; sometimes a friend or a book; sometimes it's a sermon or a song.  
This morning I heard a sermon on "An Introduction To The Book Of Romans".  The book was written by Tertius but was dictated by Paul.  Paul's credentials are listed as "...a slave of Christ Jesus, chosen by God to be an apostle and sent out to preach his Good News."  God equipped Paul to minister throughout the Roman empire through his Hebrew Heritage, Greek country of origin, and his Roman citizenship.  The Pastor said that just as God equipped Paul for the work that He wanted him to do, so God equips us for what He wants us to do.  That is why when we go through tough times, the valleys of life, we do so with a certain amount of anticipation of how God will use those trials to equip us, and  strengthen our faith and trust in Him. 
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow...."    James 1:2-4a


Michele said...

I loved that sermon...not so thrilled that you keep having these encounters with bears! xoxo

Elayne said...

I know but so far we've simply been able to look at them from a distance and they've never looked particularly hungry to me! LOL