Wednesday, March 11, 2009

....across the room for pregnant guys....

Hey guys!  I hope that got your attention!  Are you sick and tired of hearing women lament that no man will ever know what it feels like to be pregnant and have a baby?  Well guys, here's your chance to find out what that experience is all about.  All you have to do is follow these instructions below and you too can know what women have been yaking about for ever!
By now you've seen the picture and you might be thinking this is all about cravings.  Read on!
Trot down to the kitchen and start the preparations for these babies.  Follow the directions exactly, bake and let them cool down a few minutes before you handle them.  I would suggest having no more that two (twins) or three (triplets) the first time around.  While you allow them to digest you may want to sip on a cup of coffee, tea or your favourite drink.  The gestation period is quite short so don't plan any long trip like checking out the latest model at the nearest car dealership.  By the way, there will be no morning sickness....no time for that!  The first sign of birthing is the feeling of some movement happening somewhere in your abdominal area and this will be followed by audible sounds.  In time these sounds will increase in volume and there will be little if any intervals between the movements mentioned earlier.  In fact, by this time you'll be feeling like there's a football game being played inside your body.  Try lying down and you will most likely see what clearly resembles fists and feet boxing and kicking against your flesh.  And then...the moment you've been waiting for as you race to the washroom shouting over your shoulder "Honey, I think it's time!"  The delivery won't take long I assure you and in no time at all you will be going for seconds!  I hope you enjoy your new experience!

Orange Bran Flax Muffins
1 1/2 Cups Oat Bran
1 Cup Flour
1 Cup Ground Flax Seed
1 Cup Bran
1 Tbsp. Baking Powder
1/2 Tsp. Salt
2 Oranges, washed, quartered
1 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Cup Buttermilk
1/2 Cup Canola Oil
2 Eggs
1 Tsp. Baking Soda
1 1/2 Cups Raisins

Combine all dry ingredients in large bowl.  In blender place brown sugar, buttermilk, oil, eggs and oranges.  Blend well.  Pour over dry mixture and stir until blended.  Stir in raisins.  Divide batter among muffin tins (24) and bake 18-20 minutes @ 375F.

4 comments:

Jobina said...

great recipe...but Mom...ewww!

Michele said...

THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I've made this recipe a couple of times now and I have to say that it is absolutely DELICIOUS!! Love the taste and texture. Anything else "good" is a bonus in my eyes!! Elayne, your write-up IS hilarious! Thanks for the word pictures! (Renita)

Elayne said...

I would consider those muffins "live" food!! Not raw. But definitely "live"!