...across the room for grace, part 2....

Can you stand another post on my little study on "Grace"?  I wondered why this book grabbed me so, but the more I read and think about it the more I realize that I have shared very little grace with those around me.  Shamefully little, really.  Not surprising then that I feel the need to savour this topic and let it permeate my life.

After my last post I read about grace in our relationships.  Blackaby talks about words a lot. Words of life and death.  I took my grandson to a local fast food chain this week and as I stood in line to get his food and my coffee I heard at least three mothers speak what I would call "death words" to their little children.  I witnessed body language and looks of fear, rejection, humility, and failure as the mothers hissed and frowned at their children.  It made me so sad. Blackaby talks about ONE incident when he was in grade twelve that haunted him throughout his life.  It was ONE teacher, telling him ONE time as he was falling behind in French class, that he had Fungus for a brain!  Suddenly a bright high school student with university and degrees in his future decided he was not bright enough to pursue those dreams.  Thankfully his parents were more encouraging than his teacher.  Years later, after graduate school and two degrees as he entertained the idea of trying for a PhD program those words haunted him again.  In order to qualify for the program he needed two years of German and one year of French.  He was discouraged and afraid of failure.  This time though, his professor gave words of grace and talked too him as if he assumed Blackaby could do it and kept affirming him and his capabilities.  It made all the difference in the world.  Every time we talk to another person, be it a spouse, child, friend, co-worker, we have the capability to speak life or death words.  The quality of our relationships depends a lot on our words.  The author says that many adults find it very difficult to bless another person.  It could be deep insecurities they are struggling with, a subconscious fear that by lifting up another person they will somehow lower themselves (that's almost a direct quote).  Some are too needy or self-centered to extend grace to anyone else.  He says that when you are raised on a diet of criticism and ugly talk you are prone to poison your own family the same way.  Adults from all walks of life bear scars from death words.  HERE is the good news though.  God can TRANSFORM ANYONE into a person of grace if we are willing to be transformed!  It is Satan who is the father of lies (John 8:44).  He is the master of deception, making people feel worthless, unimportant, excluded, inferior, unlovely, and unforgivable and people BUY THESE LIES AND BELIEVE IT!  

He quotes Isaiah "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of Him who brings good news, who proclaims peace, who brings glad tidings of great things!"

God is in the business of transforming and changing lives.  We are not meant to carry the scars of a dysfunctional past to our graves.  There is healing and restoration available for EVERYONE if we just allow God to take us on that journey.  He will produce in us love, joy in the midst of whatever is going on in our lives, peace in every situation, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (see Gal. 5:22).

I can't wait to read further in this book!

(note...not necessarily direct quotes, but pretty close from this book.  I don't take credit for most of this... these are Blackaby's thoughts for the most part... I'm just too lazy to 'direct quote')

...across the room for grace....

Have you ever read a book so intriguing you can not get past the second chapter?  Often it is not so much that the topic is so new but that it talks to you at just the right time of your life. At least that is what happens to me some times.  I have to savour the chapters and let the lessons sink in and become part of who I am.

This book is about "grace" ... making grace a lifestyle.  The author describes this generation as the most self-centered generation ever.  It's all about "me".  My needs, my rights, my wants, my feelings etc.  He says that our behavior communicates our understanding of God's grace in our lives.

He says that grace is not tolerance, weakness, refusal to confront sin or avoid speaking truth. Grace recognizes the full ugliness of sin yet offers undeserved pardon and blessing.  It is a gift of kindness (undeserved).  It is not reciprocal.  It goes one way.  It is costly ... someone has to pay the price.  It looks at potential in people, focuses on solutions, leads to action and motivates God to relate to us moment by moment.  It is the lubricant that eases friction, expects the best but offers freedom to fail, celebrates sucess and does not keep score of wrongs.

He says that God's grace is available to free us from any kind of bondage.  It could be anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, or anxiety for example.  If we live in bondage of any kind, he says, we as Christians have received God's grace in vain.  By His grace He has provided a way for us to live in freedom, abundantly and joyfully.

He says that when God looks at us He sees us through eyes of grace, not at what we are, but what we could be.  Grace looks beyond our past and focuses on the future.

How like God to see me not as I am today, but what He knows I am capable of becoming one day.  That's why I can  never feel satisfied or content when I feel angry or bitter about something or choose not to forgive someone.  He wants to keep growing me into the woman He planned for me to be.  I want to be a channel for God's grace to flow to those around me.  

So next time someone is on my tail all the way to Costco I hope I will remember to see the person through eyes of grace rather than focusing on how much of the road behind me belongs to me.  Maybe the eyes of grace will allow me to consider what kind of driver he might be in a year or so!  I hope to exercise grace instead of space next time a car load of hormonal teens park too close to my  precious vehicle just long enough to bless me with a few dollars!

The book I'm reading is "Putting a Face on Grace" by Richard Blackaby and most of the above is from the book.

...across the room and into the past...

Some time after my parents became empty nesters my Mom made a comment that took me by surprise.  She wished that just for one night she could have all her children home for a sleep over.  At that time I thought it was rather odd; she never mentioned it again, and I never thought about it again until today.  After spending two fabulous days with one of my daughters I thought about how much fun it would be to have them both home for a night (though I would certainly let them stay longer!!)

It was like the good old days having just a daughter in the house.  A trip back in time.  I made her bed before she retired for the night; we were in the same bathroom most of the time even though there are three in the house;  she did my hair,  I ironed her shirt sleeves while she was wearing it!, we shared make-up,  went everywhere together, laughed, cried, reminisced, shopped (and as usual, we entertained other shoppers in the stores, something my daughters and I have done all our lives.  That evening we met a lady at a function who had seen us in a store during the day and was still laughing at the things we had said!  How nice to unknowingly brighten someone's day!)  We dressed up and went to a function where all my friends could hear her belt out two songs like I've never heard her sing before.  She was AWESOME!

My daughters don't live in my city so I don't see them as often as I would like to.  I wonder if that is the reason these mother/daughter excursions are so extra special?  Often I wish that we all loved in the same city so we could get together as often as we like.  I think that is still my preference, but since that doesn't seem to be the trend for our family, I will enjoy these times together as often as I can.  I feel SO BLESSED!

  

...a walk across the room to be blessed....

I know you are all wondering what I did with the money I was "blessed" with last night on the parking lot at the grocery store.  I've had some time to think about it.  What my hubby said about learning to receive is something I gave a lot of thought.  Giving is what I love to do and I must say that I have to purposely stay out of the stores sometimes so that I don't get so carried away.  

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE receiving gifts.  Especially unexpected gifts (other than the usual 'gift days').  These gifts are usually from someone I know though.  Gifts from strangers don't happen often in my life.

By now you are wondering whether I will ever get to the point!  I have made my decision.  I am going to keep the $5.00 and I will spend it on ME!  I will allow myself to be BLESSED by these wonderful strangers.

So in case you had no idea what it feels like to be the recipient of such an unselfish act of kindness, I hope these two posts have given you some idea what it feels like.  Perhaps some time in the next week or two you will find yourself walking across the room to bless a total stranger too!  I know I will be more aware of the people around me to see if I can put a smile on someone's face!

...across the room to receive....

There seems to be an epidemic in our city.  Almost every day it seems that someone gets a free cup of coffee at the drive thru coffee places.  It is the thing to do around here.  You simply pay for the person in the car behind you.  My husband and I were discussing this practice just this week and both agreed that it is a bit of a ridiculous habit.  We felt that this type of thing is more meaningful if you know the person who buys the coffee for you.  They care about you. They know you.

Tonight I reluctantly left the comfort of my warm home to travel down the highway to Costco to get some things I can only find there.  I had two very impatient drivers behind me and another impatient driver as I left and drove to Safeway for the rest of my groceries.  By the time I arrived I was in a bit of "a mood"!  I hadn't had time to open my door when a car zoomed in RIGHT beside me, WAY too close for me to open my door!  I couldn't believe my eyes!  I was just considering whether I should back up and go park somewhere else when out of the corner of my eye I saw an outstretched arm.  I looked to see him waving a $5.00 bill at me. Assuming he needed change I opened my window to hear him say "We would like to give this to you".  My reply was "No, if you want to give money away, why don't you give it to someone who really needs it?"  He was very insistent though so finally I said "OK, you've got to be on one of those Youth Group events so I'll take it so you can take the picture".  I took it and then said "Now please take it back and give it to someone who needs it".  He would not take it and said to me "No, we want to bless YOU with it!  God bless you!"  Realizing he was not going to take the money back I replied "God bless you too!  I know Him as well" and I heard all five in the car exclaim  "AAAAAWWWWW", grinning from ear to ear as they raced away!

As I shopped groceries I realized what a warm fuzzy feeling that "blessing" gave me.  How it changed my mood and even how I looked at other shoppers and store staff to see if anyone needed encouragement.  

I'm going to go find me some stranger to bless before this week is over!  I have a $5.00 bill burning a hole in my pocket!  However, I will not crowd them in the parking lot at Safeway!

...Big Trip Journal Entries....

Not quite ready for segment #2, I thought I would post a few entries from my journal of 2002/2003 on our one year bike excursion!

A P.S. notation on a page near the beginning of our trip:  I dropped my bike today for the first time.  It's OK to say S - - T sometimes!

...in the shower tonight I got close to the shower head to rinse my face.  Next thing I knew my whole world was black.  I couldn't see a thing! ... and my nose was in great pain and burning!  Seems the shower head blew off the pipe and hit me on the nose, breaking the skin!  The black was me closing my eyes!

Found the following description in a Jane Austin novel.  Fanny was describing a brilliant clear night:  "Here's harmony!  Here's repose!  Here's what may leave all painting and music behind, and what poetry only can attempt to describe.  Here's what may tranquillize every care, and lift the heart to rapture!"  (I LOVE the words!)

Springhill, Florida:  We were walking in a residential area and met a big turtle walking in the middle of the street!  Later as we sat by the pool at our hotel Peter saw a lizard and a few minutes later a little green frog jumped onto his leg!  (I'm SO glad that was not my leg because I would have screamed like a wild animal!)

In Marathon, Florida .... we met an old guy at our hotel today who told us we were "Just amazing!  Yet so peculiar and interesting!  Yet strange and dangerous;  and SO exciting!"  He stood in front of us looking so peculiar in his baby bonnet cinched tightly underneath his chin, shorts exposing some very skinny wrinkled knees, exclaiming and talking AT us all the while about how cold it was in the south and totally unfit for biking!  We meet the oddest people some days!

In the French Quarter, New Orleans ... we had beinets at Cafe du Monde, an open sided cafe with pigeons flying through the crowd, walking around my feet and even sitting on the fan almost straight above our heads!  (I include this for those readers aware of my bird phobia!)

...had supper next to the local Harley Shop at a Bar & Grill and discussed how to live holy lives!