....across the room to exercise self-control.....

At the start of a New Year I usually try to think about any changes I would like to make in my life and this year was no exception.  Towards the end of the year when I was looking at the storage space and closets in our home I got a little frustrated with all the "stuff" I have stored in the house and all the clothes in my closet.  I enjoy shopping unique little shops and often end up picking up items I haven't even thought about buying simply because I like what I see.  This led me to make the decision to curb my spending for this year to buy only items we really need.  No strict rules really, just a conscious effort to be careful with my money and not buy things I haven't even thought about (and probably don't need).  I thought another bonus here would be that it would free up quite a bit of my time so I could get going on some projects that have been untouched for a long time.  The problem with that is that often I'm in the shops for relaxation.  It takes my mind off something I might need a break from and takes me into the public without actually having to interact with anyone.  In other words I can be alone yet be with people!  I know we're barely into the New Year but I've had great opportunities to exercise my self-control.  Yesterday I was at Winner's (not exactly a unique little shop, I know!) trying on tops, slacks and jeans and when I had satisfied my "fix" I left the store empty handed!!  What a powerful feeling!  I saw all kinds of things I liked enough to buy but realized I didn't NEED any of it and walked away from it all with no regrets at all!  Last year I would have probably gone to Starbucks for a coffee after a shopping spree but yesterday I decided I could go home and make coffee there.  I did and then invited a friend to join me!  I just can't wait how this will affect the rest of my year (not to mention how much money I'll have in my account at the end of the year!!)  However, if I keep going for lunch with my friends and paying $5.50 for a pot of tea like I did today I may be in the red at the end of the year!  Are you reading this, Renita????? 

...across the room to review....

Time for a new post (without pictures because I couldn't find one I liked)!  I am really struggling with this New Year and what to do with it.  I've never known this to be a problem any other year.  So what I'm doing about it right now is being kind and good to myself and allowing myself a little time to sort out the details.  Meanwhile I'm doing some reading.  I just finished "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" by John Boyne.  A fast read with a surprising ending.  Not sure if the movie is out yet but I'm told it's coming soon.  Next I read a book by Denise Jackson (wife of singer Alan Jackson) "It's All About Him".  It's an account of their life together which begins as high school sweethearts who marry young (and poor!) and then take off to Nashville to pursue Alan's dream of making it as a musician.  It's a happy ending after many struggles, disappointments and sadness.  The book oozes truth, honesty and a willingness to let the public see their life the way it really was in order to encourage the reader to find the kind of love that is lasting and sure.  I really enjoyed this book.

Next I think I want to re-read "The Shack" again.  This book is really making an impression on people.  Among others, some are realizing that their concept of who God is could be completely wrong. Others are learning that He is so much bigger than they thought and some have discovered that they did not know who God is at all.  Read it.  It might surprise you.  

...across the room with thanks!...

I could write a book on this topic however I will limit my words to a few.  If you are a regular lurker on this blog you will know that I was bracing myself for a rather sad Christmas this year. Truthfully, it had it's sad moments.  Yesterday and today again I was on the verge of tears much of the time.  At our family get together in Manitoba last Sunday my father said a few words about my sister that set me on a different "track" though.  It wasn't the first time I had thought about this since November when Jean passed away but coming from our Dad, it meant more to me than thinking about it on my own.  He said "I think we can say thank you, because God never makes a mistake".   It was a difficult Christmas for him too.  He lost a daughter, yet he chose to focus on what he could be thankful for!  This is a huge deal any time in our lives but especially in a situation like this.  I started on a course of thanksgiving immediately and realized there was no place to stop!  The list just keeps going and going like the 'energizer bunny' with no stopping point in sight.  This exercise coupled with my Bible reading encouraged and strengthened me like nothing else could.  I won't share my complete list here but I do have to say that at the top of any list like this God is always first.  I read in my Bible that He is always with me and helps me through everything.  He won't ever leave me stranded in any kind of situation. Next is my husband.   Because our relationship has always been a threesome with God I know we can handle anything that comes our way.  I am eternally grateful for his love, commitment, strength, encouragement and support.  My daughters are next on the list.  It's not easy to let daughters grow up and I often feel like they are still my little girls but they have proven themselves to be totally grown up and in doing so, our relationship is a combination of mother/daughter/best friends and I am so grateful for them.  I am thankful and blessed to have the best sons-in-law who I think of as my sons.  I can't imagine my life without either of them and see their love expressed in many ways.  My grandbabies are easy to give thanks for.  Their presence in the home energizes me and their gentle touch sends shivers through me.  I can't get enough of them.  Invisible string seems to attach me to each one and I miss them immediately after they leave.  In thanking God for my Dad and family I can't help but include my in-law family as well.  They are all precious to me.  This year I realized how blessed I am to have incredible nieces and nephews.  These "kids" that I've watched evolve from babies to adults were sending emails and expressing their love and support in my loss and yet they lost an auntie too.  I was amazed to see how they reached out in their pain to comfort rather than focus on being comforted!  It was a beautiful unexpected surprise to me and it meant the world to me these past few months.  Next on my list were my awesome friends.  Each one is unique and has played a very important part in this process I've been in and I couldn't imagine being without even one of my friends.  They truly are the best.  And so the list goes on.  There is so much more.  A song, a book, a blanket of sparkling snow on my back yard, a gift of home made popcorn, a special card, a warm fuzzy scarf, a hug.  My goal this year is to practice being in a state of "thankfulness" every day.   Happiness and joy reside there too.  It is a GREAT place to be!