.... across the room to reminisce....

While many have recycled their Christmas trees and cleaned up all the decorations in order to turn a new page and ring in the New Year I am enjoying the quiet of my home, surrounded by all the Christmas decor I love so much. Today is my chance to relax and review all the busyness of the season in order to let the memories take root for recollection down the road.
There were some very special moments with our little family this year. There was good conversation, lots of laughs, squeals of delight, hugs and kisses of thanks, and we haven't even mentioned the food yet! Lots of it! Too much as usual!
We really do have royalty in our family. There are two little princesses usually decked out in tiara's, large sparkly earrings, necklaces, rings, and of course, high heeled shoes! There is play make-up too. Purses complete the brightly coloured outfits. They are so adorable! The boys are warriors, fighter pilots, and well, all things boy! The adults try to have meaningful conversation above the sounds of motor noises, clicking of heels on the hardwood floors, battlefield noise, little mommy and baby sounds, the Christmas Train, and 'silly songs', among others. There is dancing, twirling of big skirts, transformers and bionicle's being propelled throughout the house and occasionally a rousing game of ping pong downstairs!
Meals are usually rushed because some little person is usually REALLY hungry and needs food immediately! One of the princesses doesn't seem to think a prayer of thanks at the table is always necessary and spends the duration of the prayer hushing the "pray-er"!!
There is so much action and inter-action it almost makes my head spin! I love every minute of it. It's a different kind of tired. The kind that feels good!
We are so blessed with all the additions to our family of four. Our sons-in-law are second to none and those grandbabies become more precious to us every year! I think what I love most about my family is that our Christmas is about being together as a family. Although we always exchange gifts we all (except for the little ones) know that if there were no gifts we would want to get together just as much as we do when there are gifts to exchange. We are so thankful for God's unspeakable gift to us and know that without Jesus there would be nothing to celebrate.
It's been the best Christmas ever! Really!

...across the room to wish you a Merry Christmas....

I LOVE Christmas! I have ALWAYS loved Christmas! As I was growing up our home was filled with the aroma of fresh baked cookies and Christmas cake during the days leading up to Christmas. Mom loved to decorate the house and tree and often bought new decorations to add to her collection. There were shopping trips to Winnipeg and often Calgary for my parents and when they returned home there were strict rules about which closets we needed to stay clear of! My parents loved lavishing gifts on us at Christmas time. We did not generally receive gifts the rest of the year....I don't ever remember getting a birthday present from my parents until after I was married. It just wasn't done at our house. I think it made Christmas all the more exciting for us as kids. One of the first events I "noticed" my husband at was a Christmas Eve caroling party. I made sure I got to go in his car and eventually got to sit in front with him, in the MIDDLE (something I fought the friend I was with for!!... and won!!). Some years later, in 1970 to be exact, we were engaged on Christmas Eve! We have always made Christmas Eve our day of celebration. Most years we would attend the Service at church, come home to a dinner I had spent most of the day cooking and after dinner we would open our gifts. It has always been our special day. I don't ever remember Christmas being anything but happy and exciting! The first year I remember a change in our celebrations was when my little nephew passed away a month before Christmas. Next was the year my Mom passed away, again in November. Christmas changed quite drastically that year as we muddled our way through the family get together. This year again, in November, my sister passed away. It has changed my preparations somewhat again. There has been no panic to get anything done. I gave myself permission to do what I could or wanted to do and not stress about any of the preparations. I decided if I didn't get gifts bought, I could always give cash as a gift! My husband mused this week about the house looking perfectly decorated without all the usual fuss! I took that as a compliment! This month I have experienced some exciting fun filled days of shopping, and lunching with friends. I've also had days where I got nothing done because I felt the sadness coming back to visit me. It settles in like a rain cloud, stays for awhile and then empties out along with my tears to let the sunshine in again so I can get back to my holiday preparations.
My special memory of this Christmas will undoubtedly be that the JOY of that very first Christmas permeates my very being and no matter what happens all around me, to me, and in me, that JOY is there to stay. It is God's gift to me. It is God's gift to you if you care to receive it. The JOY is God's Son Jesus whose birth we are celebrating. He came to visit me many years ago. I invited Him in and when He comes in to your life He comes to stay permanently! He is my forever JOY!
May your Christmas be filled with His forever Joy as you celebrate God's indescribable Gift!

...across the room to see the light....

I just reviewed my last post and spent a little time "in it" to allow myself to remember what those days were like. Yes, I am speaking in past tense! This past week, Tuesday, to be exact, I remember clearly feeling a lightness in the very depths of my being and then realizing that the dark, heavy fog I had been in for the past while had lifted. That is not to say that the tears have stopped. I can say though that I know for sure that happiness has found it's way back into my life. I've felt mostly sadness for so long it seemed I had almost forgotten what real happiness feels like. This sadness was not a choice for I would have certainly chosen happiness had I been given the opportunity to chose. The sadness was something that came to visit me for a period of time. It was unwanted and unwelcome like an uninvited house guest who doesn't know when to leave. It stayed for as long as it took for me to do my heaviest grieving. Grieving is hard work. It wears you out physically, mentally and emotionally and it is so important to be able to take the time to do this properly. I am so fortunate to be able to put my life on hold to allow myself to experience this process. Initially it seemed that the only way to keep my head above water was to remember only the good, fun and humor and honor the life of my sister in that way. I would not be very real if I could not admit that there are other thoughts going through my mind that I have to consider if I am going to work through my grief. It seemed a little disrespectful at first but I had to face the fact that no relationship is perfect and that there are usually some regrets to be dealt with when we lose a loved one. The best thing to do is face them head on and not bury them to dig up later. I think it's a choice. We can feel sorry for ourselves, in some cases harbor unforgiveness, grow bitter over things we have no control over or we can chose to do what we can to come to terms with whatever may have been lacking and give our loved one the benefit of the doubt and go on with our lives. At the end of the day it would be good to be able to say that losing one family member was a good reminder to the rest of the family to draw a little closer, be a little kinder, more forgiving, loving and accepting and live in peace and harmony as if each day is our last.