...across the room to make a fool of myself!.....

In one of my weak moments I had the audacity to recite this to a ladies Christmas Party at the church. I found it on the internet and made a few changes. Sometimes I'm not sure why I do the things I do!

ITALIAN NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas da night before Christmas,

Da whole house was mella,

Not a creature was stirrin',

Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof

I heard somethin' pound,

I sprung to da window,

To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my

Wanderin' eyes should appear,

But da Don of all elfs,

And eight reindeer!

Wit' slicked back black hair,

And a silk red suit,

don Christopher wuz here,

And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts,

And a yank on dare manes,

He yelled and he shouted,

And he called dem by name.

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,

Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,

Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,

Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

As I drew out my gun

And hid by da bed,

He flew troo da winda

And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da heck you doin'

Pullin' a gun on da Don?

Now all you're gettin' is coal,

You crazy moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga

Right unda my nose,

He twisted his pinky ring,

And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,

Yellin ‘n screamin'!

Away dey all flew,

Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,

What I did least expect,

"Merry Christmas to all,

And yous betta show some respect!"