Interestingly enough, after I composed my last post on friendship I ended up listening to a sermon on "Communicating in Relationships" in church this past sunday! In my post I related an incident with a friend some years ago who asked me to stop doing something. I mentioned that it wasn't so much what she said as the manner in which she said it. I can still see her body language to this day! Our speaker in church informed us that communication is done largely through body language, secondly through the way the words are spoken and least important are the words we speak. Interesting! At least, apparently this is how we remember the communication.
He said that there are a number of communication killers. They are arrogance, having all the answers, smugness; withdrawal, which basically means ignoring the issues and pretending there are none; lack of sensitivity; mistrust; and accusations. Accusations put an end to most conversation.
Communication builders were presented as being acceptance; empathy, honesty, discretion, responsibility (if you're wrong, admit it), forgiveness, listening, and prayer.
He concluded by saying that communication is a choice and that healthy relationships begin with healthy communication. At least that is what I remember of the sermon. I would say that relationships can survive only by constant healthy communication.
Whenever my husband and I keep saying "I thought you....." I know we have been too busy and there has not been enough healthy communicating, meaning it's time to have a little chat :)
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