...an invasion of sorts #3 ....

Some days I just don't think!  An example would be:  You do not take a 5 and 3 year old for a quick trip to the grocery store so you can hurry home to get lunch on the table so the 5 year old can quickly eat before catching the bus to K!  I KNOW that but somehow it does not sink in until it is too late.  I remembered it the minute I let them both have a "little shopper's cart" at Sobey's today!  One of the check out clerks gave us a strange look as we picked them up and headed toward the entrance, back into the store.  We set off some sort of alarm as I headed through the doors with my eager shoppers.  By the time I had saved several fellow shoppers from a severe case of "little shopper's cart welts" I was so wrecked I thought I'ld hurl my breakfast in the produce department!  When I muttered something to the effect that "I will NEVER do this again!"  I had to look into four big innocent eyes to explain why!  "Because Nana has no time to look at the food....I am too busy watching where you two are going!"

After dinner it seemed important to do it all again.  This time at the mall!  By now I was completely calm and confident in my ability to stay in control!  One thing these two understand is rules.  So we agreed on a few rules.  1.  The minute anyone cries because they do not get their way we LEAVE the store (both are nodding enthusiastically).  2.  If something is too expensive we have to agree on a different thing (yes, but we WILL get SOMETHING.  Yes, I agree, they will get something.)  3. We will be respectful and kind (lots of nodding and "yes's" in unison).

UNBELIEVABLE!  These two model shoppers could not have been better behaved or more well mannered.  They made me SO PROUD!  

Had to take Cinderella with me to the bank where she was fed candy by the staff.  Before we left she made sure I understood that we would not tell her brother that she got candy.  Oddly enough she had forgotten her vow by the time he came home from K as I heard her apologetically  confess "the lady had a little jar (it was HUGE!) and she offered me two candies!"  We play a lot while her brother is at K.  I ALWAYS have to be sick.  I'm told when to cough, when to cry, whether I'm in pain, and if I have a fever.  Today she finally told me "Your faith has healed you.  Don't tell anyone I did it!"  Then she left to walk "on the river".  You guessed it!  She was Jesus and apparently I was an "Inciple" and needed to follow her wherever she went!

What an interesting pair!  So loveable!  So passionate about EVERYTHING!  So free to express themselves!  The spontaneous "I love you, Nana" expression is the one I hear long after they are tucked in for the night.  Sleep well you little rascals!!

  

  

....an intrusion of sorts #2....

As I sat down to review the last three days I've realized that they have brought about some very noticeable changes in me.  I talk different (Cinderella taught me a new word today "squimbled" which she explained means "twisted", feel different (I would call it "combinational exhaustion"... meaning both physically and mentally!) and I look different (my eyes have never been this red before!). 

I've been sitting at my computer for the past 30 minutes and keep waking up with my chin on my chest!  And it's ONLY 9 PM!  The dishes are still waiting for me in the kitchen but my little charges are dreaming sweet dreams by now.  I loved Cinderella's prayer tonight.  I read them a story about David and Saul - a lesson on being kind.  Her prayer was "Dear Jesus, please help me to be kind like David.  Thank you for being here.  I LOVE your words!"

I feel a little squimbled tonight so I am cleaning the kitchen so I can get in a few more hours of rest tonight!

I'll be BACK!

...an invasion of sorts #1 ....

I kept checking the kitchen window to see when they would arrive and was surprised to see Prince Riker running towards the house with Cinderella (by the way, my  new name is "Snow White" ... well, it's better than "The Wicked Stepmother, isn't it?!!) on his heels.  I felt so prepped, prepared and ready for them so you can well imagine how I  felt when the first thing he said to me was "Nana, you left the keys in door!"  Sure enough!  The keys had been in the dead bolt lock ALL NIGHT ... an open invitation to the neighbourhood!  GREAT start!  I'M supposed to be the responsible one protecting my little charges!  My confidence in my capabilities sank even lower later when the BACK DOOR blew open.  Seems I forgot to secure the dead bolt on that door as well!  Let's recap.  Since I've taken charge of this house I have broken a bathroom water tap, the kitchen sink stopper and left both doors open for intruders during the night!  Things can only improve from here on!

In the bath last night Cinderella assured me she would not squirt water from her new "fishy" on the floor because "I want to impwess my mommy and daddy so they will be happy with me!" I take it her brother was not "impwessed" with her at all today when I heard him warn her "Don't taunt me!"

It is busy and noisy during the day to the point of exhaustion (MINE not theirs) but now as I sit here in the dark with my scented candles burning up the remaining smell of our delicious pasta dinner I rather miss those two little bodies and all the chit chat of the day.  Sleep well sweet babes!  I'll see you in the morning!

...an invasion of sorts....

For the past week I have had the pleasure of occupying a home in Winnipeg and having it all to myself.  That all changes today, very shortly in fact, when a very special five year old and an equally special and lively three year old come to join me for the next week while their parents swim in the Rio Grande, through caves, and just generally relax and "enjoy" the hot, humid environment of Belize!  Personally, I'ld rather be in a desert somewhere, but then it's not MY vacation is it?!

Yes, this sanctuary of quiet solitude will soon turn into a jungle gym of lego, dolls, balloons, books, movies, princesses, and robots!  To tell you the truth, I can hardly wait.  Enough of this deafening peace and quiet already!  Life is not supposed to be quiet all the time, is it?   Besides, I am SO READY for them.  The place is spotless, refrigerator is packed,  laundry baskets are empty, and I'm all rested up (I think!).

Please stay tuned this week!  There will be regular up-dates on all the goings on of our shared space for the next week!

...across the room to pray.....

I've been thinking a lot these days about the way I often have prayed and realize that so many times I pray as if I know exactly what I need God to do for me instead of asking Him what the answer to my prayer should be.  Instead of praying to the Creator God, I seem to be talking to a "Sugar Daddy".  Maybe that is why I can relate so well to this prayer.  I don't know who wrote it.

PURITAN PRAYER

"Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number,

and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Thy mind in Thy word,

of neglect to seek Thee in my daily life.

My transgressions and short comings present me with a list of accusations,

but I bless Thee that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ.

Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above them.

Let not the passions of the flesh nor lustings of the mind bring my

spirit into subjection, but do Thou rule over me in liberty and power.

I thank Thee that many of my prayers have been refused.

I have asked amiss and do not have,

I have prayed from lusts and been rejected,

I have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness.

Go on with Thy patient work, answering "no" to my wrongful prayers,

and fitting me to accept it.

Purge me from every false desire,

every base aspiration, everything contrary to Thy rule.

I thank Thee for Thy wisdom and Thy love,

for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject,

for sometimes putting me into the furnace to refine my gold and remove my dross.

No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin.

If Thou shouldst give me choice to live

in pleasure and keep my sins, or to have them burnt away with trial,

give me sanctified affliction.

Deliver me from every evil habit, every accretion of former sins,

everything that dims the brightness of Thy grace in me,

everything that prevents me from taking delight in Thee.

Then I shall bless Thee, God of Jeshurun,

for helping me to be upright."

...across the room for grace, part 2....

Can you stand another post on my little study on "Grace"?  I wondered why this book grabbed me so, but the more I read and think about it the more I realize that I have shared very little grace with those around me.  Shamefully little, really.  Not surprising then that I feel the need to savour this topic and let it permeate my life.

After my last post I read about grace in our relationships.  Blackaby talks about words a lot. Words of life and death.  I took my grandson to a local fast food chain this week and as I stood in line to get his food and my coffee I heard at least three mothers speak what I would call "death words" to their little children.  I witnessed body language and looks of fear, rejection, humility, and failure as the mothers hissed and frowned at their children.  It made me so sad. Blackaby talks about ONE incident when he was in grade twelve that haunted him throughout his life.  It was ONE teacher, telling him ONE time as he was falling behind in French class, that he had Fungus for a brain!  Suddenly a bright high school student with university and degrees in his future decided he was not bright enough to pursue those dreams.  Thankfully his parents were more encouraging than his teacher.  Years later, after graduate school and two degrees as he entertained the idea of trying for a PhD program those words haunted him again.  In order to qualify for the program he needed two years of German and one year of French.  He was discouraged and afraid of failure.  This time though, his professor gave words of grace and talked too him as if he assumed Blackaby could do it and kept affirming him and his capabilities.  It made all the difference in the world.  Every time we talk to another person, be it a spouse, child, friend, co-worker, we have the capability to speak life or death words.  The quality of our relationships depends a lot on our words.  The author says that many adults find it very difficult to bless another person.  It could be deep insecurities they are struggling with, a subconscious fear that by lifting up another person they will somehow lower themselves (that's almost a direct quote).  Some are too needy or self-centered to extend grace to anyone else.  He says that when you are raised on a diet of criticism and ugly talk you are prone to poison your own family the same way.  Adults from all walks of life bear scars from death words.  HERE is the good news though.  God can TRANSFORM ANYONE into a person of grace if we are willing to be transformed!  It is Satan who is the father of lies (John 8:44).  He is the master of deception, making people feel worthless, unimportant, excluded, inferior, unlovely, and unforgivable and people BUY THESE LIES AND BELIEVE IT!  

He quotes Isaiah "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of Him who brings good news, who proclaims peace, who brings glad tidings of great things!"

God is in the business of transforming and changing lives.  We are not meant to carry the scars of a dysfunctional past to our graves.  There is healing and restoration available for EVERYONE if we just allow God to take us on that journey.  He will produce in us love, joy in the midst of whatever is going on in our lives, peace in every situation, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (see Gal. 5:22).

I can't wait to read further in this book!

(note...not necessarily direct quotes, but pretty close from this book.  I don't take credit for most of this... these are Blackaby's thoughts for the most part... I'm just too lazy to 'direct quote')

...across the room for grace....

Have you ever read a book so intriguing you can not get past the second chapter?  Often it is not so much that the topic is so new but that it talks to you at just the right time of your life. At least that is what happens to me some times.  I have to savour the chapters and let the lessons sink in and become part of who I am.

This book is about "grace" ... making grace a lifestyle.  The author describes this generation as the most self-centered generation ever.  It's all about "me".  My needs, my rights, my wants, my feelings etc.  He says that our behavior communicates our understanding of God's grace in our lives.

He says that grace is not tolerance, weakness, refusal to confront sin or avoid speaking truth. Grace recognizes the full ugliness of sin yet offers undeserved pardon and blessing.  It is a gift of kindness (undeserved).  It is not reciprocal.  It goes one way.  It is costly ... someone has to pay the price.  It looks at potential in people, focuses on solutions, leads to action and motivates God to relate to us moment by moment.  It is the lubricant that eases friction, expects the best but offers freedom to fail, celebrates sucess and does not keep score of wrongs.

He says that God's grace is available to free us from any kind of bondage.  It could be anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, or anxiety for example.  If we live in bondage of any kind, he says, we as Christians have received God's grace in vain.  By His grace He has provided a way for us to live in freedom, abundantly and joyfully.

He says that when God looks at us He sees us through eyes of grace, not at what we are, but what we could be.  Grace looks beyond our past and focuses on the future.

How like God to see me not as I am today, but what He knows I am capable of becoming one day.  That's why I can  never feel satisfied or content when I feel angry or bitter about something or choose not to forgive someone.  He wants to keep growing me into the woman He planned for me to be.  I want to be a channel for God's grace to flow to those around me.  

So next time someone is on my tail all the way to Costco I hope I will remember to see the person through eyes of grace rather than focusing on how much of the road behind me belongs to me.  Maybe the eyes of grace will allow me to consider what kind of driver he might be in a year or so!  I hope to exercise grace instead of space next time a car load of hormonal teens park too close to my  precious vehicle just long enough to bless me with a few dollars!

The book I'm reading is "Putting a Face on Grace" by Richard Blackaby and most of the above is from the book.