..across the room to deal with bad days.....

the flowers I gave myself today :)

I often hear people talk about having bad days and it always makes me wonder why they don't do something about these bad days so that the entire day doesn't have to be labeled that way.  Then along came today!

Due to an upcoming medical procedure it was necessary for me to go on a liquid diet for the past two days.  Juice is not something I care for at the best of times.  A piece of fruit is so much more enticing to me than liquid that tastes like fruit.  However, there seemed to be a limit as to what I could and could not drink and juice was on the menu for me!  It didn't work though and my tummy rebelled against it as well as the chicken broth I wanted to drink.  Long story short, I ended up having mostly water, coffee and tea for two days.  Needless to say, by this morning I felt a little weak, hungry and just a tad grumpy.    Things did not go well for me in the kitchen as I prepared my husband's bag lunch and I ended up having to wipe down some cabinets, fridge and floor.  I had errands to run as well as a visit to my hair stylist and my deadline was noon.  Since I was tired of making my own coffee I went out of my way to pick up an Americano at Starbucks and realizing I was ahead of schedule decided I would get to the salon early and perhaps page through a few magazines to help me explain what I wanted done with my hair.  I realized the door was locked when I almost broke my nails trying to yank it open with my cell phone in one hand and coffee in the other.  I yanked again (just to make sure!) knocked  on and looked through the window where I saw a group of stylists sitting around chatting.  Immediately my temper got the best of me and when they finally opened the door twenty minutes later I was about to bite someone's head off!  However my stylist is young enough to be my daughter and besides, I like her and she apologized, explaining they were having a staff meeting.  I still felt a little grumpy though and when she indicated which station she wanted me at I told her I would like to use the rest room first (I DID after all drink almost an entire Americano! and besides, maybe she wanted to know what it feels like to wait!).  I guess I was still seeing red because I walked right past the rest room towards the back of the salon so she had to call me back and point me to the right door.   I nearly had a heart attack when I opened the door to see someone occupying the room and I wondered what would go wrong next.

On my way home I had one more stop to make at the local supermarket.  First things first though because by now I was ready for another Starbucks break.  This time I ordered a blend I hadn't tried before and when she handed it to me and said "I hope you like it" I answered "I hope so too!"....not a reply I would normally make.  But what was normal about this day?!  I collected what I needed and proceeded to the EXPRESS checkout.  Delightfully there was NOBODY ahead of me but of course by the time I wanted to pay there was quite a line up.  I used my debit card, or tried to, and the machine would not accept it.  We tried again, and AGAIN and finally she said "It wants you to go through the motions and then it will reject it!"  

"That's ridiculous" I thought to myself.  How does SHE know what the machine wants from me?  Eventually I timidly proceeded while she rolled her eyes at me!  TEMPER!  "What business does SHE have rolling her eyes at ME when this is all the machine's fault?"  I could not believe my eyes.  I'm sure had I been able to make eye contact with the person behind me in the line up my mouth would have wanted to sarcastically tell him "and they call THIS the EXPRESS lane!"  Leaving the check out counter I slowly made my way to the exit all the while trying to decide how I should handle this rude clerk.  Go back and give her a piece of my mind?  Talk to a supervisor?  I decided to let it be and secretly hoped the next person would straighten her out but good!!

As I drove home I realized how this interruption in my diet had affected my mood, actions and tolerance level and I decided that I would start over again.  I found a bright orange vase, stuck some pretty flowers and baby's breath into it and allowed it to be my reminder for the rest of my day at home.  A reminder that even when I don't feel completely wonderful I can choose how I act and react.  This day was also a reminder to myself how important it is to be good to myself by eating properly, exercising, and getting enough sleep.  It's so simple really but maybe often we create our own bad days? 

...across the room for summer fun....

Our Granddaughter is much shorter than we are and
 sometimes misses parts that should be included :)

The other side of us

After a rather long absence from this blog I'm not sure I have any followers left so here is a token post to let you know I haven't left the planet.  It's just been a busy few months for us.

Our summer included having grandbabies over for a week; attending a wedding where our Granddaughter gave the official photographer a run for his money, and the traditional summer motorbike vacations....one in July and one in August.

I tend to post a lot of biking pictures and thought I needed to let you know we're not always sporting helmet head or leather gear and yet I notice my guy is wearing a leather blazer on our "dress up" picture!  Once a biker, always a biker I guess!

I have always enjoyed a variety of roads as I ride my bike....the openness of the desert, the prairies,  and the challenge of the mountain passes.  This year I realized that I am most drawn to the mountains when it comes to biking.  I would rather ride the passes, curves and switch backs than anything else.  Travelling these roads often means that by evening we are no where near the comforts of the big city hotels with the comfortable homey rooms and king beds.  In fact, more often than not it means settling for a cabin or a small motel with nothing bigger than a double bed!  Perhaps even settling in at a rather deserted ski resort in the mountains!  When I found myself getting a tad grumpy this year after a few nights in a small bed I decided that I needed to make a decision about how we travel.  We could stick to the more congested main highways and get a nice big comfy room and bed every night or we could ride those beautiful scenic roads and put up with a little discomfort at the end of the day and I decided I would stop grumbling and enjoy the ride during the day as well as the tiny motel rooms at night.  For my guy it's a no brainer....he loves the mountains more than a fancy hotel room and after this vacation it seems I do too!

....across the room to cry....

I go to visit a very dear elderly lady in a nursing home on a regular basis and today was the day to visit my dear Katie.  Most days she recognizes me immediately but lately she can not remember my name.  Her memory is not what it used to be but I don't mind repeating myself to her at all.  These days she asks at least five times during my visit whether I work at the nursing home and each time I tell her that I do not.  As her memory fails her so does the English language and more and more she slips into her familiar German tongue.  I understand a good amount of her speech but not nearly all of it.   Today we agreed that I would try to learn more of her German language and she would try to learn English from me.   She is very patient with me but insists I use correct pronunciation.  What a great teacher!  We had some good laughs and I was surprised how much German I could come up with.  It was fun and funny at the same time.

Katie is always happy for company.  Nursing homes can be lonely places and it seems there is never enough company for these seniors and Katie is no exception.  I try to visit for an hour each time I go and today it seemed that hour slipped by in no time at all.  Katie loves to have me pray for her and I always do so before I leave.  After I've done that I have to offer my cheek for some kisses because Katie is the kissing kind....usually three in succession!  She always expresses much appreciation for my visits but today she took me completely by surprise as she quietly exclaimed  "THIS I did not dream!"  and as I left her room I could hear her heartfelt  "tank you, tank you, tank you!"  I took another look back as I walked through her door and caught the kisses she was blowing my way as the tears began to flow, washing away the wet kisses Katie left on my cheek.   I was reminded once again how just a little effort and one hour out of my day can completely change another persons day.  Besides, whenever I leave my dear Katie I'm never quite sure who was more blessed during that hour!   Yes, we shared some good laughs, but today Katie made me cry.

...a walk across the room to relax?

I'm not even sure I should be writing anything today.  I have the worst cold/flu ever and am stuck at home trying to be good to myself.  Drugs help a lot.  Every morning I wake up thinking today I'll feel a lot better than yesterday and then  realize I have a new symptom and actually feel worse than the day before.  Last night I told my husband "I sure feel useless this week" and he said "No, you need to rest and besides, you are still doing things".  I thought about that this morning.  In spite of how I've felt this week my laundry is done, including bedding, I've put food on the table, made his brown bag lunch every day much to his coworkers chagrin,  and even did a few errands including some office work.  I've kept up with what is necessary daily and yet there is this restlessness about me that I find hard to shake.  I'm talking about all that to my mind needs doing that I don't have the energy to do.  The old adage "Starve a fever, feed a cold" is the one thing I'm pretty good at.  Since I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and have BOTH,  I decided to focus on the later and just continue to eat well! .... or at least lots!

Prior to this weekend I spent two consecutive weeks completely focused on preparing material for a Retreat I was speaking at.  I would write or read for a few hours and then I thought I was doing something good for my body by going for a one hour walk.  Not just any walk.  Definitely not a leisurely walk.  Not this girl.  All or nothing!  Up the hill and down again times three and finding any paths that were not even terrain.  Often I would do that twice per day.  I realize now that those two weeks were hard enough on me without the rigorous  "over exercise" and by the time I was done my speaking engagement I knew I was completely exhausted.

I've always known I have a hard time relaxing at home.  During my years of full time plus on call work my husband would whisk me away to the big city when he realized I was in need of extra rest.  He could always tell before I was aware of my need.  (I KNOW!  What a guy!)  Whenever I think of REALLY relaxing I think of being somewhere other than at home.  Not very realistic I guess.  I can't always be going away to relax.  A nice long ride on my motorbike during the summer months is definitely one of my ways of relaxing.  But I do think I need to learn to relax better in my own home.  I think a good start would be to stop feeling guilty about not having done everything I think needs to be done and just enjoy my beautiful surroundings right where I am.  Live and relax in the moment.  See how good it is just to get this down in print to go back again and again to be reminded?!

Back to my ginger/lemon/honey tea and then another little nap :)

...across the room to share some abnormalities.....

When I hear about some of the antics of my grand-babies I am reminded of my own growing up years and some of the things that I did way back then. The eyes in this picture belong to one of my beautiful grand-babies. I don't think my eyes were ever this pretty but I remember wanting pretty eyes, lips, hair, etc. Make-up was not allowed in our house. I remember my mother wearing only powder "to take the shine off" and for cheek colour.....well, she would pinch them! I was probably ten or eleven when I began seeing flaws in myself and thinking of innovative remedies for a more beautiful face. I saved my pennies and together with my cousin purchased the cheapest hair dye in the bluest black colour we could find. She dyed mine; I dyed hers and that night we slept on the metal curlers in our hair. My natural hair was almost blue black to begin with but my mind told me I would wake up to a completely transformed "woman" and in the morning ran to the bathroom to get the curlers out of my hair to admire my new look. I could have died when all I could see was WHITE all over my head! No more secrets for this ten year old as I ran from the bathroom to the kitchen to take whatever I would have coming for doing something so WRONG behind my parent's backs and hopefully get some advice from my mother about what to do with this hair before school! It turned out the dye was probably so old it turned into a powder as it dried and was easily rinsed out and my mother realized I had learned enough without any admonishment from her!

You'ld think I would have learned my lesson? Eyes were next on the agenda. The same cousin (3 years my senior!) told me that if you cut your eyelashes they will grow back looooong and curled! That's all the encouragement I needed as a 10 year old! I found a pair of small scissors and off they came! May as well continue with the beauty regime and attack those pale lips while I was at it! Memory fails me regarding the colour and it may have been just a plain gloss but since we did not own lipstick I thought a longer lasting application might be found in nail polish. I always did these things just before bed time. All I can say is "MY POOR MOTHER" although she's probably laughing it up in heaven if she has time to think about these memories there! For the next few days I suffered through the worst case of self inflicted chapped lips ever! I tried peeling it off but my skin would come off right along with it. A painful lesson to be cemented into my memory for life!

I admit I was aware of how desperately my mother tried to cover her disbelief and nearly uncontrollable laughter as I showed up time and again almost unrecognizable some days. Eyebrows cut off with the same little pair of scissors and drawn in again with the artful style of a ten year old; haircuts too embarrassing for any girl my age to admit to and equally embarrassing for my poor Mom probably although she had the best sense of humor! I remember desperately wanting a slim skirt which my mother would not make for me so I found a long piece of fabric and sewed the two ends together to make a tube (who needs waist bands, zippers or hems anyway?!) tried it on and hid behind the washing machine since I was supposed to be helping with the laundry that day. I could tell my mother saw what I was wearing and I just knew she left the room to laugh her face off and not to "get something". Next I found a bra that actually fit around my slight frame but of course I had nothing to put into the cups so I stuffed them with socks and pranced around in the back yard like that! If you could see me now you would see that my face is red.

One day my cousin applied the nicest shade of red lipstick to my lips when we were outside one evening and assured me it would come off without any problem. Before she left I wiped it off until she assured me there wasn't a trace left. Of course we had no mirror for me to see for myself. She was older and I trusted her. I can still see the look on my mother's face when I walked in the door and the near explosion of laughter. I even remember my father's eyebrows way up in his hairline and the look he gave my mother. It meant "she needs soap and she needs it NOW!" To make matters worse, they had company in the house to witness this ten year old "rebellion"!

This post could be SO LONG but if I continue you might think I was, well, abnormal?

I think it is good to revisit the past. Especially when you are raising children and they are doing and saying things that begin to scare you a little. Just remember me. I turned out OK. I'm almost normal!!

...a walk across the room for a little disturbance....

Disturb Us, Lord - 1577

A Prayer by Francis Drake

Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves When our dreams have come true Because we dreamed too little, When we arrived safely Because we sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord, when With the abundance of things we possess We have lost our thirst For the Waters of Life; Having fallen in love with life, We have ceased to dream of eternity And in our efforts to build a new earth, We have allowed our vision Of the new Heaven to dim. Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, To venture on wider seas Where storms will show your mastery: Where losing sight of land We shall find the stars. We ask you to push back The horizons of our hopes; And to push us in the future In strength, courage, hope, and love.

...across the room to make a list.....

It just seems to be the right time of year to make a list. Maybe it's because of Valentine's Day, or that February is Heart Month, or that I am so looking forward to spending a week away with my husband that my heart is filled with gratitude and thoughts of love, good times and good things, or it could be that the self centered, rude, annoying bride on TV that I can't imagine anyone wanting to marry makes me so grateful for my life. I felt like making a list of some of the stuff that I like, love, puts a smile on my face, brings me joy.... here it is....in no particular order..... and definitely a condensed version :)

my husband

babies

perfume

perogies

my life

duets

baths

Prada

coffee

good conversation

stars

Jesus

bread

spontaneity

pure soap

quiet

senior citizens

white sheets

Arbonne make-up primer

grandbabies

candles

laughs

cotton

rings

children

city lights

Jane Austin

Christmas

my home made laundry detergent

Bible

trees

Mom's notes to me

puppies

bra-less at home

ideas

lotion

mountains

laugh lines

daughter time

uninterrupted sleep

red

Doc Martin

architecture

Easter

friends

clean scents

good writing

French accent

my house

yoga pants

my bathroom chandelier

chocolate

jokes

learning

shoes that fit

spa days

My Harley

forgiveness

art

humor

walks

a finished project

red rock

God